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Author Topic: What literature may be safe to offer a BPD?  (Read 10419 times)

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Gender: Male
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Posts: 24

« on: May 08, 2009, 07:42:16 PM »

I've been off here for quite awhile and have an X wife BPD.  I would like to help her seek the proper therapy if possible.  She's been in therapy most of her life & is on Wellbutrin now & has been for 8 years or so.  I don't know the level of her denial but I believe that if she were directed toward the right therapist there may be hope.  Deep down she knows I care and probably trusts my judgement to some degree.  We were married for 22 years, divorced last year & her life has been a mess since.  Is there any literature that is suitable for me to give to her?
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: in second marriage for 20 years on valentines day
Posts: 2581

« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2009, 11:47:46 PM »


IF she is in theropy is it DBT theropy? does she know she has BPD? IF she is seeing a theropist the best resources should come from him, and he needs to give her the right stuff , if she is in denial she might not appriciate being told she has a personality disorder, and it could make things worse for you...   she has to want treatment for BPD, and reconize she has a problem, all you can do is to take care of yourself, check out what we have here, there are things you can do to cope.   there are tools and skills you can learn on the workshop board and on the staying board.

How Can I Help The Borderline In My Life?

Workshop - BPD: How can I get someone to see a therapist or to get into treatment?[/url

Here are some links to help you ... .

Stop Walking on Eggshells

Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified

Workshop - Tools - what to validate

Tools: how to take a time out

Tools: Radical acceptance for family members

Workshops - lessons on BPD and staying

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we can all evolve into someone beautiful

« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2009, 01:19:02 AM »

dear homerakguy,

perhaps you could send her the link to resources for BPD.  it is the site where bp's communicate and aj majari runs it.  she is a fully recovered bp.  might be best to run it by her t first. that is if the t is giving her the same dx that you seem to be giving her (BPD). 

best wishes to you and your exwife,


 BPDd-13 Residential Treatment - keep believing in miracles
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« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2009, 11:40:53 AM »

Does she accept that she has BPD?  If not, it is hardly likely that sending her info about BPD will help her.  It will probably send her deeper into denial.  But, as she is your ex, what do you have to lose? 

The best book for someone who is open to the idea that they have BPD might be "Get me out of here" by Rachel Reiland, written by a woman with BPD who later began to recover.

If she refuses to accept that she has BPD, there are books out there dealing with symptoms... .books about dealing with anger, for instance, that might be valuable.


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« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2009, 05:55:58 PM »

i found a book about DBT ('the dialectical behavior therapy skills workbook' that looks helpful for uBPDs, but as others have said, it's a sensitive issue and you can't necessarily expect the ex to accept that the book applies to her and thank you for doing her a favour!
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