would you drug test your BPD 17DD?

[mama72]

My DD17 is exhibiting some signs of drug use. Scares the hell out of me.

Has anyone here asked their BPD child to take a drug test? Home test or doctor's visit? I know some doctors will not perform the test without the child's consent.

Do I test her to get her help? Do I ignore it and wait for her to self-destruct, like she always does? Honestly, I am nervous about the drama there would be if I asked her to take a drug test, but do not want that to cloud my responsibility as a parent or keep her from the help she may need.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jellibeans]

I have bought a home kit from the drug store and tested my daughter a couple of times... . I have also told her that she needs to be prepared to be tested at anytime in the future... . the tests have not come out positive but I know she has been using drugs in the past... . the drug test is to prove her innocents... . refusing to take the test is admitting guilt and consequence are in order.

[Stella1425]

We did drug test our D when she was in college. In order to use the car she had to pass and never did. Also was on academic probation.  Then she decided she wanted to quit weed and drive the car. So she did!  And had a successful semester. Here is the bad news. Her boyfriend's mother decided to buy her a clunker. Then told her she didn't need insurance in our state. She proceeded to drop out of college, restart drugs, cheated on boyfriend and off she went again. Moral of the story is~~ it did work for us and could have continued possibly? The interference of the boyfriends mother we will never understand. At this time I thought her only problem was drugs and ADD. As the years have progressed she has been up and down. She married and divorced. (We have a 6 year old GS) she had not been diagnosed BPD but I've known for years there was more than alcohol and ADD so we are pretty sure. So test your daughter. You never know what's is going to work.

[mama72]

Told DD she needed to do a drug test and she agreed. Told her she couldn't go to her room until we collected a urine sample, so she is just sitting here sipping on water and texting. Stalling or just playing it cool  because she is clean? I guess we will see!

[peaceplease]

And, what happens if she is positive?

I tested my adult daughter when I suspected that she was doing drugs.  If she tested positive then it would be off to rehab.  Honestly, I don't put a lot of faith into drug tests.  For one, I have tested a false positive for morphine.  My daughter kept insisting that she was clean, and she tested positive for opiates.  I decided to test myself, and it turned positive for morphine.  I suppose I could have sent it away and paid for confirmation. 

BTW, in the case where I tested positive for morphine I was totally stumped, as I could not think of anything that I ingested that would produce a false positive. 

Another thing about drug tests I learned is that you must observe them.  Here a few tricks that they can do:  add water to specimen, and it will be negative, or have a clean specimen on standby.  My daughter has done both  (Yeah, I got wise after the fact). 

I totally do not trust drug tests.  I think if you have a true specimen that you observed then you may have about a 75% accuracy IMHO. 

[mama72]

Tested negative. She seemed very pleased with herself and almost proud that she was caught actually telling the truth! I have never been so happy to be wrong!

I got the test that my cousin, who is a drug enforcement officer, said would be most accurate.

I am a nurse and have given many drug tests. I put food coloring in the toilet, told her not to flush, left the door wide open and to not wash her hands until I had the specimen.

Told her that if we feel necessary, will test her in the future. She apologized for her behavior after school (a whole other story) and said she understands why I mistrust her.

I am glad I gave her the test. So very relieved it was neg and it seems like a small, positive victory for her. Hoping to ride this wave for a bit!

[Stella1425]

Good for you and happy for your daughter. Hope things stay sane for you.

[peaceplease]