Father without knowledge

[Lostintears]

Hi,
  My daughter has been diagnosed with borderline and is going through a long period of sadness...psicologist, psychiatry...we are teying to help but we don"t know how....she closed herself..

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

Hello Lostintears and

Wow, a diagnosis can be a big deal. Does she seem to accept the diagnosis, or reject it?

How old is your daughter? Does she live at home with you?

There is hope for things to become more livable -- a lot of that comes from us, the family members without BPD, learning and trying new skills, tools, and approaches. Take a look at our articles on When a teen or adult child has Borderline Personality Disorder and let us know what stands out to you.

Looking forward to supporting you and your family;

kells76

[BPDstinks]

i am very sorry to hear this...my head just "spun" when i received my 24 y/o BPD daughter's diagnosis; I looked through pictures trying to figure out if I missed something (in retrospect, I now realize clues that I did not know "were" symptoms (i.e. she always had ONE friend, "at a time" and ONLY that friend...they were friends for a year, etc. and the friendship would end; this pattern repeated itself for years and she was very moody (like a light switch) and what we thought was just very intense and emotional; I, personally, suggest reading BPD books; I wish you the very best of luck with this

[Ourworld]

Dear Lostintears,
Take heart that the problem has been identified and she can receive the treatment she needs. Play some soothing music in your home, I listen to a lot using YouTube free streaming on my tv. What might be best right now is soothing non-lyrical music such as Classical. I listen to Contemporary Christian songs throughout the day, they are quite positive and uplifting and bring a lot of peace, but do have lyrics.

Do not remind your daughter about her diagnosed condition, just say, let’s get past this together, so she knows she can depend on you. I wouldn’t say much to her, as she digests this in her mind. Without asking her preference just have some gentle music in the background to help soothe her spirit.

If possible, continue to show her love, compassion, and acceptance even if she acts out (I would often just ignore her behavior and once she calmed down, I would simply talk to her normally.

Whatever you think as parents, please DO NOT blame yourselves in any way, if she says blaming things, know that is derangement speaking, do not respond, but do not feel any blame whatsoever.

I wish you all peace and comfort, you will get through this! OurWorld