Is your BPD partner worse first thing in the morning?

[connect]

Hello - my experience is true here but wondered if that is true for anyone else?

Thanks!

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[Themis]

I never thought about that.

He goes to work pretty early so I might see him for a minute before I get ready an hour or so after him.

Weekends... .  hmmm... .  he's an early riser. It doesn't matter how late he stays up.

I guess even in the honeymoon period he was never a morning person.

A good question. I'll try to notice the fluctuations. It will help me to take him less personally and study him.

[Take2]

Yes I have definitely experienced this... .  mine can go to bed totally happy or so he leads me to believe... .  but then the next morning he is full of anger and doubts and accusing me of things I don't do... .  it seems to happen when there is nothing else for him to really stress Bout.  . Its like gjhis mind creates the dama he needs to wake up with... .  

Sorry having phone issues typing!

[yaryu]

My exBPDgf would get depressed during the evenings like clockwork.  Around 6 pm is when I can expect a change in her overall mood and remains that way until after she takes her nightly meds.  I have to say 90% of our disagreements, misunderstandings, breakups occur in the evening and night.

[profplum]

other way round for me, late at night is more usually the problem

[Cloudy Days]

My husband can be terrible when he first wakes up. Especially if I am the one that has to wake him up. I try to never disturb him while he is sleeping and I usually keep a fair distance from him once he actually wakes up until I know what kind of mood he is in. But yea, I have experienced this.

[committed]

For me, it depends upon what he dreamed during the night. I've read this from other posters and have found it to be true for me. My BF often has very vivid dreams and when he wakes up, it is almost as if they were true and can really set his mood for the day. He seems unable at times to distinguish dreams from reality.

[Cloudy Days]

For me, it depends upon what he dreamed during the night. I've read this from other posters and have found it to be true for me. My BF often has very vivid dreams and when he wakes up, it is almost as if they were true and can really set his mood for the day. He seems unable at times to distinguish dreams from reality.

This can be true for me too. I've had to deal with Rages because my husband dreamed that I cheated on him more than once. He's very grumpy when that happens too.

[LetItBe]

Mine tends to need some space in the mornings, but he's otherwise okay if I let him "be."

[Chosen]

My uBPDh is ok... .  not necessarily worse in the mornings, but judging from how he behaves in the morning you'd get a pretty good idea of how he will be the entire day... .  

[hellokitty4]

my BPDfriend usually gets into a funk at night... .  especially if she's had some wine. She either gets triggered by anything or is very sexual.  Then regrets it in the morning after she re-reads all the text. It doesn't happen every night. No consistency.

[laelle]

Goodness Yes!

[Rockylove]

My husband can be terrible when he first wakes up. Especially if I am the one that has to wake him up. I try to never disturb him while he is sleeping and I usually keep a fair distance from him once he actually wakes up until I know what kind of mood he is in. But yea, I have experienced this.

LOL  ditto!

[hithere]

For mine the start of the day good or bad had to do with her weight issues.  If she lost weight she would be happy, if she stayed the same she would be neutral, if she gained she would be miserable.  She would often weight herself 3-5 times in the first hour of waking up.

[dmiller]

My BPD partner definately is worse in the mornings. 

[TigerEye]

My SO is not good in the morning, like committed, the night terrors can have a major effect on the day's mood, along with the latest drama happening in her world, which come thick and fast, or the sick feeling from the alcohol withdrawal, it's why I get up early and sort the kids out while she sleeps in, gives me a chance to come round and have breakfast before I have to deal with what ever comes my way.

The mornings when, out of the blue, she wakes up in a good mood, it's like the sun is shining and all is good in the world, you get to enjoy those moments for what they are, normality, if only fleeting!

[andywho]

My girlfriend can be terrible in the mornings. So i usually let her be in the degree thats possible. If she does start any arguments or fights in the morning i usually tell her that we can talk at a later time when we both are more awake.

This might not be a BPD trait tho. I know alot of people that are terrible in the morning without BPD

[DyingLove]

Okay, so what do you call it when the day before was terrible, but they wake like nothing happened?

[Rockylove]

Okay, so what do you call it when the day before was terrible, but they wake like nothing happened?

BPD!     I call it selective amnesia, myself.  I believe that my BPD wants to forget the jerk he was the day before.  I don't like to remind him because that would just make matters worse.  If I just let it roll and enjoy the new day, I feel a whole lot better about it too.

[Themis]

Okay, so what do you call it when the day before was terrible, but they wake like nothing happened?

You are not alone. He did this too. "I don't remember" well. It's crazy.

[TheHopefulOne]

My pwBPD is good in the morning... .  If she has coffee and food. If one of those are missing its a disaster. No coffee, right from the get go its crazy. No food it takes about an hour or so and shes off to the races.

[Themis]

Hahaha RedRob,

I can relate to the no food thing only because my pwBPD can be thoughtless. He leaves earlier than me, takes money to eat something while at work, while I wake up to nothing.

By the time you get ready go to the shops, buy food... .  it's time to leave... nothing more irritating than waking up hungry with nothing to eat.

And I'm a non.

I don't rage about it, but I sure do feel it is inconsiderate. Basic human need like food, sleep etc could trigger the best of us.

just don't drink the last of the milk before the other person wakes up... .  oh man the thoughtless things he would do!

[Auspicious]

Sleep disturbance is common, I think - especially if there is a comorbid disorder like bipolar.

[Themis]

Sleep disturbance is common, I think - especially if there is a comorbid disorder like bipolar.

awwwww. That is terrible news. Can't we just tie them to the bed between 10pm-6am and put a cover over their eyes and a sleeping dart?

There. Quiet. Peace of mind. They are asleep, not out and about doing stuff we don't know about, not causing arguments, not stressing us, just alsleep and peaceful like a beautiful peaceful, peaceful person of peace!

hee-hee! :-) Hope you get my style of humour.

*Doesn't he look adorable? Wild-eyed Themis points to the handsome strapped up man, looking peaceful, asleep, harmless in his drugged up state of tranquility.

"It's over, it's over!" she screams as someone holds her, wrapped in a blanket patting her head---hush dear, yes, he sleeps now... .  it's oo-kay... .  

[HardTruth]

Mine was worse in the morning.  He'd be so sweet and close to me at night before bed - reading me poems was a frequent bedtime routine - and then cuddling me all night.  In the morning, sometimes he'd be the person I went to bed with, and other times he was a person who couldn't wait to get away from me.  Weird.  I'm talking about days when neither of us had to get up at the crack of dawn to get to work. 

[waverider]

I think it is also common for a pwBPD to lack structure in life generally, this includes sleeping patterns,. As a result their highs and lows can often be out of whack with everyone else. Late nights, early mornings, running out of energy in the middle of the day. Sometimes springing out of bed extremely early and sometimes incapable of getting out of bed. You get all combinations.

[DramaEverything]

Oh yes!  My H is horrible in the morning.  Always nitpicking, complaining, arguing.  You name it, he's doing it.  My S10, does his best to stay away from him.  He was the first one to notice it too!

[sadeyes]

Mine is usually the best in the morning... .  

[Sammamish]

The selective amnesia element is an interesting one - My w is very selective with her version of events, to the point that I have to write things down in case she tries to rewrite what actually happened. This seems to be very much part of the "crazy-making" behaviour characteristic with BPD'ers.

[hellokitty4]

Okay, so what do you call it when the day before was terrible, but they wake like nothing happened?

You are not alone. He did this too. "I don't remember" well. It's crazy.

Oh I think they remember. They have excellent memories. They just want to avoid the subject and it's easier to say that they forgot.