If we can somehow be civil and i can stay a part of her life, that's wonderful.
Hi clydegriffith,
I'm sorry to hear that. I read a little of your back story. My ex is having a 5th child and 3 different fathers. She was acting strange with wanting me to go on outings with her and I know the r/s with her bf was not going well. She fears abandonment and I believe that's why she got pregnant. Her family is indifferent to her behaviors from my perspective and instead of taking care of the family issues, they bury their heads in the sand.
Irregardless, I understand how distraught you may feel when you don't have reasonable access with your child. My ex was incredibly difficult after she left with reasonable access. She would fight with me and change days and times the week leading up to the weekend she would let me have the kids.
She had just left and I was scared the next 15 years I would have to put up with the craziness of simply trying to see my kids.
Kids have a right to both parents. It is their unconditional love for either. How your ex feels about you and these control tactics should not get in the way of your child's love for you. I was frantic when I arrived at bpdfamily 2 years ago and the advice given was to get a court order with non ambiguous boundaries.
I was trying to be civil with my ex and work with her. The same civility shown in the marriage that didn't work in the marriage due to her emotional immaturity, lack of empathy and narcissistic needs. It was doubly so after post break-up. There's a system designed to help facilitate your needs if your ex is uncooperative - courts.
My advice, don't try to be civil with her if you want reasonable access with your child. Get a L and get a parenting order.