Hi In a bad way,
Oh, that sounds just awful to hear again... .You say it is helping you with processing the problems in the relationship?
In what way would you say this is helping you? Does it give you a clearer picture of why you would never go back for example? Or what?
You mention that she could not remember things she said. Oh, that is a scary piece, huh? My "h" has been like that at times too.
wishing you peace, pearl.
It is awful to listen to but at the same time it made me realise just how nasty she was, honestly if you could hear it you would be astounded.
One of the most craziest things was her not remembering, honestly it was like something from a horror film, she would be in a great mood and then bang, she became another person. I've had her just out the blue ask me what the f** I was doing in her house and then kick me out.
She changed in an instant but after a sleep she would return to the nice one, I actually said to her at the end of that recording when she told me to go home (frustration got the better of me) that she had some sort of split personality, lovely to nasty in an instant.
Yeah so after she had had a sleep she would have no memory of what she had done, really was two people and neither one of her personalities remembered what the other had done.
It was bizarre to say the least and scary to an extent.
I think this has a lot to do with why she has never spoken to me in any way after all this time, she will not remember all the abuse she gave me, I think she must remember some of it but not the really bad stuff.
I could tell the next day if she remembered and it was only a couple of times.
We were in Italy and she was in a fantastic mood and then in a split second she was telling me to eff off then she lay on the floor in the middle of the street throwing a tantrum, it was horrendous.
I was disgusted with her and wouldn't speak to her the next day, when I did she said she knew something must have happened because I didn't come to bed last night.
This is all still going through my head and more besides after all this time, I'm still in shock, definite PTSD because I am the only person in the world that knows how she was.
I'm glad I have the tapes, it's proof and also it shows I'm not imagining it all.