what to do?

[Depression = 72% of members]

my friends pretty shut down, and not talking really, she texts me back if i text her in the morning pretty well only to let me know she’s not dead, its something we have agreed on, cuz i actually really worry if i dont here from her within a day or two, its just not normal for her. Everything used to be like clockwork, now it’s pretty random. her moods have been really low/depressed or raging. I can’t get her engaged in any convo... . this worries me... . shes only this vag when she suicidal... . and this has been over a month or so now... . i know shes only doing this cuz she doesnt want to feel.(hides, watches horror movies, stupid lies, avoidant, gets kinda lethargic, etc)

far as i know she isn’t talking to anyone, and stopped therapy, i believe... . im to afraid to ask cuz if she hasn’t i don’t want to do something to trigger her into stopping... .

i desperately want to get her on the phone with me, cuz i know when i call she talks and she feels a bit better after, even if she didn’t want to... . but i can’t get her to pick up... . we've agreed on set dates and she just avoids me... . or gives me every excuse in the book... .

so what should i do?  

[qwaszx]

my friends pretty shut down, and not talking really, she texts me back if i text her in the morning pretty well only to let me know she’s not dead, its something we have agreed on, cuz i actually really worry if i dont here from her within a day or two, its just not normal for her. Everything used to be like clockwork, now it’s pretty random. her moods have been really low/depressed or raging. I can’t get her engaged in any convo... . this worries me... . shes only this vag when she suicidal... . and this has been over a month or so now... . i know shes only doing this cuz she doesnt want to feel.(hides, watches horror movies, stupid lies, avoidant, gets kinda lethargic, etc)

far as i know she isn’t talking to anyone, and stopped therapy, i believe... . im to afraid to ask cuz if she hasn’t i don’t want to do something to trigger her into stopping... .

i desperately want to get her on the phone with me, cuz i know when i call she talks and she feels a bit better after, even if she didn’t want to... . but i can’t get her to pick up... . we've agreed on set dates and she just avoids me... . or gives me every excuse in the book... .

so what should i do?  

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[qwaszx]

I just wanta be like, "im still here, im not going anywhere, im still trying, i need your help though if this is going to work"... . she used to always say something along the lines of "you can’t beat a dead horse" referring to herself... . im just not getting through to her... . and i dont know what approach i need to try... . i wish i were there

and yes i know i can only help myself... . :/ hmmm... .

[Chosen]

I just wanta be like, "im still here, im not going anywhere, im still trying, i need your help though if this is going to work"

Why don't you text her something like that then.  Whether she replies or not is ok.  I understand you're worried about her, but unfortunately if she chooses to shut down, then all you can do for now is to let know her you'll be there for her.

[qwaszx]

i have texted her the first part a couple time, i feel like with in the past year i've said it at least once a week, i dont think the last two lines i should say, i dont want her to feel like what shes doing is worrying me or make her feel like shes doing something "wrong"... .

hopefully shes coming around... . got a text from her this morning "i love you... . miss you" 

before that i hadn't heard from her first in a long while... .