Anybody else have this happen?
When you change your behavior from the expected it triggering an extinction burst is pretty common. Personal responsibility and consequences interfere with the emotional reasoning. I wouldn't count on him getting this part - sounds like he feels victimized and isn't able to accept his behavior as destructive. This disorder is basically relationship destructive if you are expecting reasonable.
This push pull is common too. Same with the emotional rescuing and capitulation by partners. It keeps that dance going. When you don't do it anymore a revolt happens and it can up the ante on "throwing your stuff in the yard" antics.
Good to hear you made a decision based on your needs. Huge questions to ask yourself - that many if us probably didn't ask in the beginning or think about - is this behavior something I want to deal with the rest of my life? Can I cope with a partner who struggles with x, y, z? Etc.