Constantly vague and purposely confused about things. Secretive about stuff that doesn’t need to be kept secret. Eg. my father is overseas and he left his car at our house, so my husband drove it to work today (he always gets the bus as I need the car for work), and not only didn’t mention this to me throughout the day but claims he told me yesterday about this.
Stillhopeful4,Figuring out what vague and mysterious answers "mean" is a very frustrating an inexact "science".
So much so that we really have to consider if it's worth it at all, because at the end of the day, we'll likely never really know.
So...I'm usually deliberate about "extreme clarity" about what I don't know, express befuddlement to my partner and let them know that I'm open to listening so they can help me understand. Also being ready to move on with my life if they choose to remain private. (in other words.."be fine" with them not wanting to expand further on their actions)
I have lots more questions about the "car thing", such as was there an general agreement about how this stored car was or wasn't to be used.
How are conversations and agreements (such as the allegation that she was told the day before) normally memorialized in this relationship or are they strictly left up to memory?
The one thing I will expand on is the "secretive" stuff. I find it interesting when people use that word instead of saying "private"?
How do these sound?
Jim is a very secretive person.
Jim is a very private person.
There are many other words that can be tried as well.
All that being said. If you want to start another post with particulars of odd behavior in your own relationship, I'd love to bat them about with you. Many times just getting another point of view is helpful.
Best,
FF