Maybe I just had a moment of clarity

[Depression = 72% of members]

I was thinking about a post I'd just written, about how I would, even now, take my BPDexh back if he were truly remorseful.

Then I thought about it some more.

I don't think I could ever be intimate with him, given that he broke our marriage vows and replaced me. I don't see how I could ever get past and forgive that.

I think a little lightbulb came on. That there's a difference between the fantasy 'happily ever after' and the reality. One that, for me, is probably irreconcilable. I don't see how I could ever trust him again.

[Jbt857]

I was thinking about a post I'd just written, about how I would, even now, take my BPDexh back if he were truly remorseful.

Then I thought about it some more.

I don't think I could ever be intimate with him, given that he broke our marriage vows and replaced me. I don't see how I could ever get past and forgive that.

I think a little lightbulb came on. That there's a difference between the fantasy 'happily ever after' and the reality. One that, for me, is probably irreconcilable. I don't see how I could ever trust him again.

[redkong]

Jbt - one of my most supportive friends helped me get great clarity when she helped me see the difference between the "mirage" (what I wanted, hoped for, thought "could be" with me ex, and the reality.  Like a mirage in the desert, what we wish was real with our pwBPD just isn't.  No matter how we chase it, the mirage will never be real.

There is a huge difference between fantasy/mirage and reality.  Chase your reality.

[Surnia]

 

For both of you.

Shifting from fantasy, hope and fairy tales   to radical acceptance.