Sounds very tough badknees, sorry to hear this.
Untreated BPD wife is raging about my failure as a husband. The nugget of truth here is i recently realized my passive aggressive attitude towards her over the years. I realize how I ve made things harder for her by putting distance between us out of my reaction to her chaotic behaviour. I want to change that in me and have been working on this... .but she wants a groveling begging crying apology asking despararely for forgiveness.
How does the chaotic behaviour make you feel?
Do you feel distress? Or apathy?
What in your view, would be an appropriate response to chaotic behaviour?
She want an apology equal to the pain I caused being passive aggressive. A lot of my behavior came from ignorance... .trying always to keep her happy all the time.
Are you passive-aggressive by nature?
Or is it a responsive? (i.e. you are provoked into this reaction)
Something in me says this begging groveling is not right.
Was this a requirement of past or current relationships (not just romantic) in your life?
Or is this applicable solely to your relationship with her?
Is my ego or pride blocking or changing and apologizing sincerely the better way.
Have you aplogoized sincerely in the past?
And what was the outcome?
If I grovel I feel I am just going back to my codependent behavior again.? And repeating a cycle
Do you feel that offering a sincere apology for your response to someone else's chaotic behaviour, is less co-dependent, than a passive-aggressive response to someone's chaotic behaviour?
Do you think your passive aggressiveness should stop?
or the chaotic behaviour should stop?