Broke Up

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I was in a relationship with someone whom I intended on marrying and I believe she is BPD.  We got into an argument this past Friday Night and she got physical with me as I was leaving her house which she hit me 3 or 4 times.  I had to call the police.  On Saturday, I changed my phone number, and blocked her on Facebook since she was sending me harassing texts. 

I sent an email to her expressing that I was finished with the relationship and I didn't feel safe in it anymore.

She would give me ultimatums, try to control my friendships, threaten suicide, and over spiritualize situations.

She isn't taking "no" for an answer.

[zrsloan]

I was in a relationship with someone whom I intended on marrying and I believe she is BPD.  We got into an argument this past Friday Night and she got physical with me as I was leaving her house which she hit me 3 or 4 times.  I had to call the police.  On Saturday, I changed my phone number, and blocked her on Facebook since she was sending me harassing texts. 

I sent an email to her expressing that I was finished with the relationship and I didn't feel safe in it anymore.

She would give me ultimatums, try to control my friendships, threaten suicide, and over spiritualize situations.

She isn't taking "no" for an answer.

[Meili]

I'm sorry that you had to and are having to go through that, but it sounds like you've made a great start on detaching and separating yourself from the situation.

My x did similar things when I ended the relationship (r/s). It's not uncommon for people with Borderline Personality Disorder (pwBPD) to act out in such ways as the struggle to maintain the attachment. Hopefully that has all calmed down a bit by now.

It may prove to be useful to learn about BPD and how it effects r/s. THIS is a good place to start.

Have you had any contact with her today?

[joeramabeme]

Hi zrsloan, Sorry to hear what you are going through.  This is a really great site with lots of helpful people who have experienced exactly what you are going through.

It sounds like your ex has not accepted that you would like to move on and also is unaware of her own behaviors.  That is a common trait amongst pwBPD (read as people with Borderline Personality Disorder).  First and foremost, are you safe?  Take whatever steps you feel are necessary to ensure your safety.

Secondly, glad you posted here.  Friends and family are often at a loss for understanding the situation we are put in with these r/s'.  Is your family understanding of what is going on?

JRB