Hi yeeter,
Just a quick "hello," to let you know we're listening. For various reasons, including the fact that my training is in law, I recently have been googling "BPD and the law." There is fascinating information on the web regarding this topic and many sub-topics, and some of it may be helpful to you. The buzz words seem to be "high conflict divorce." One of the leading writers in this field is a fellow by the last name of Eddy, I believe, who is not only a lawyer and mediator, but also a licensed clinical social worker. I came across of number of articles by Eddy and others about the rising number of family law cases (divorces and child custody) in which one (or more rarely, both) parties have a personality disorder. Understandably, this complicates resolution of these matters exponentially. Apparently, there are many lawyers and law firms that appear to specialize in handling "high conflict" cases.
All the best...