It does get better

[Depression = 72% of members]

My experience with the xBPDgf ended up in August. Altough it only lasted 4 months but it was intense and I was hurt pretty badly. I was blessed by having a few friends in the mental health field that probably scared her away since in her mind led by the emotion of a child, she saw way too much «authority figures». Anyway thats a theory. I didnt have time to suffer as much as you guys for the reasons mentionned above, she knew I had great friends and family that would have bailed me out.

Since the b/u , I barely had any contacts with her and total no contacts since early November. I got news lately that there might be trouble in paradise and honestly, I laughed. Not because she is suffering or because it validates anything to me. I laughed at the fact that I really stopped giving a sh!t about her knowing that she will repeat the same cycle over and over again like she did for the past 20+ years.

Life has a way to teach us lessons and test us on said lessons, like a race track, if life tests you and if you haven't learn, you will be in for another lap of the same BS. I was single for a long time before hooking up with that xBPDgf, when she left I felt the same pain that caused me to close myself up for nearly a decade but being older and wiser now, I thought there is no way I am going back to the old life of mine isolating myself and rarely seeing my friends. She got me out of my cocoon and I am thanking her for this, she re-opened wounds that I needed to heal for GOOD and I did.

My goal is to try to be a better version of myself everyday without pretending to be someone else. I have switch my negative attitude of «why would this women date me» to a more positive energy like «why not me, I am a good guy and I know I can make someone happy». I am also more outgoing and talk to womens that would interest me, I am not trying to get in bed with everything that moves i am not like that but guys, here is a tip: if you are interested in someone but never talk to them, how the hell will you know if the interest is or can become mutual? My friends are quite happy to see me participate in common activities and happy to be there, a few told me they've seen something change in me and those that know me for the longest time said they found the guy they've met 20+ years ago. It's quite flattering.

To my surprise i was invited to the movies recently by someone i would have not even dare thinking of talking 1 to 1 just a year ago. Will this develop into more? I don't know. If it does, GOOD, is it doesn't, no harms done. She is an amazing women. This proves to me that I can be a guy that someone would like to know.

My goal with this post is for those who are stuck, really go into NC and focus on yourself, it is hard but eventually the BPD will stop popping in your head every single seconds of everyday. Be honest with yourself and pay attention to your file system, you have to fight back the recurring thoughts and ruminating and use the lessons and tricks provided on this site. The sick one is the BPD, not you. I am aware I had it maybe more easy than some of you that went through years of hell. After the first lap on the race track of hell, my «mechanic team» and guardian angel said «no more».

Have faith in yourselves, you are all amazing people!

[Zpinal]

My experience with the xBPDgf ended up in August. Altough it only lasted 4 months but it was intense and I was hurt pretty badly. I was blessed by having a few friends in the mental health field that probably scared her away since in her mind led by the emotion of a child, she saw way too much «authority figures». Anyway thats a theory. I didnt have time to suffer as much as you guys for the reasons mentionned above, she knew I had great friends and family that would have bailed me out.

Since the b/u , I barely had any contacts with her and total no contacts since early November. I got news lately that there might be trouble in paradise and honestly, I laughed. Not because she is suffering or because it validates anything to me. I laughed at the fact that I really stopped giving a sh!t about her knowing that she will repeat the same cycle over and over again like she did for the past 20+ years.

Life has a way to teach us lessons and test us on said lessons, like a race track, if life tests you and if you haven't learn, you will be in for another lap of the same BS. I was single for a long time before hooking up with that xBPDgf, when she left I felt the same pain that caused me to close myself up for nearly a decade but being older and wiser now, I thought there is no way I am going back to the old life of mine isolating myself and rarely seeing my friends. She got me out of my cocoon and I am thanking her for this, she re-opened wounds that I needed to heal for GOOD and I did.

My goal is to try to be a better version of myself everyday without pretending to be someone else. I have switch my negative attitude of «why would this women date me» to a more positive energy like «why not me, I am a good guy and I know I can make someone happy». I am also more outgoing and talk to womens that would interest me, I am not trying to get in bed with everything that moves i am not like that but guys, here is a tip: if you are interested in someone but never talk to them, how the hell will you know if the interest is or can become mutual? My friends are quite happy to see me participate in common activities and happy to be there, a few told me they've seen something change in me and those that know me for the longest time said they found the guy they've met 20+ years ago. It's quite flattering.

To my surprise i was invited to the movies recently by someone i would have not even dare thinking of talking 1 to 1 just a year ago. Will this develop into more? I don't know. If it does, GOOD, is it doesn't, no harms done. She is an amazing women. This proves to me that I can be a guy that someone would like to know.

My goal with this post is for those who are stuck, really go into NC and focus on yourself, it is hard but eventually the BPD will stop popping in your head every single seconds of everyday. Be honest with yourself and pay attention to your file system, you have to fight back the recurring thoughts and ruminating and use the lessons and tricks provided on this site. The sick one is the BPD, not you. I am aware I had it maybe more easy than some of you that went through years of hell. After the first lap on the race track of hell, my «mechanic team» and guardian angel said «no more».

Have faith in yourselves, you are all amazing people!