We tend to gravitate to what's familiar. Luck has nothing to do with this. Learning to see the red flagsred-flag and be discriminating of what is familiar to us is a process, a process of self-discovery. Remember, these people are all around us- it's easy to get tangled up with them. Knowing yourself and knowing who these people represent from your past is powerful. Once you understand yourself and your attraction to Borderline women, you'll get over a hurdle that will change your life.
You really do talk an incredible amount of sense 2010. I have imposed upon myself and with my therapists help and approval, a 6 month women free zone to really try to understand how I let myself, day by day come into this situation and allow it to get so bad, make so many excuses before I finally left her. I ignored the
, and I think its crucial, although painful to go back through those
and really try to see when they came up and why you explained them away to yourself. Reading about this, I can really see, though to a far lesser degree, that the woman before this one was also abusive but for me, I feel already I am learning and have learnt enough to see
early on. I have already sidestepped advances from two BPDs since I left this one not 6 weeks ago!
I also see a lot of my prior gf (not BPD but still a real princess!) and I witness her now with her new partner, sitting there having him run himself ragged and it actually makes me chuckle a little bit.
On some level and i hate admitting it, the BPDer has done me a lifetime favour, I think i'd be picking women who abused me for the rest of my life had I not been given this extreme BPD beating!
