I must really be sick. Am I spoiled? Will I ever know or want a normal r/s?
I don't think you're sick. I think you just met a Borderline and got hit with the devaluation stick. Technically speaking, there really isn't much you can do about valuation/devaluation when it occurs- except take things slower next time and ask allot of questions during valuation- sort of like buying a new car.
Valuation and Devaluation are horrible things to experience. Painful, awful, hellish. We see ourselves reflected in the surface of things- and that reflection, that persona, is what matters to us when we see it reflected in the eyes of another person. It becomes our drive to become that person. A Borderline will mirror what you value, and they do that by scanning for clues, which you provide to them. This is mostly done without your knowledge- but if you look back in hindsight you'll see instances where you felt comfortable enough to open up about these things. That was not unintentional as far as the Borderline is concerned- it was information that the Borderline used in order to evaluate their valuation. That was on purpose. Discovering how and when this happened is not as important as discovering what the clues you gave were.
Investigating the persona that was reflected, valued and then devalued is the work you must undertake. :)o not resurrect an open dialogue with the Borderline- you will only get more confused by their inability to take responsibility for any of their choreographed drives to mirror your values.
Instead, you must declare the information from them inept and ridiculous. They live in fantasy. That is your only reality. The job now for you is to break the spell that this person holds because of mirroring. You must become the undertaker of the post mortem, and find what it was in your persona that was easily manipulated by the Borderline. Was it your good guy persona? That's been taught to you from childhood. You found value in being a good child and grew up into a good man. That feeling of responsibility you have for others was manipulated. Eventually, if you do the work, you will become depressed about this perceived flaw. That is to be expected. It would help if you had a trusted confidante at this time who understood your drive to be responsible and good- so good that when someone called you bad you felt shame and anger and returned over and over again to the Borderline who gave judgment that really wasn't logical or realistic. Perhaps that's with a private therapist or in the L5 board where you can make a personal inventory.
Given time you will come to a remarkable sense of introspection. And like the Desiderata reminds us, don't worry about love- it does exist. And things will work out when you want them to- as long as you turn the focus to yourself.
"Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm 
