A more peaceful home - for now.

[qcarolr]

Things have been mostly stable here for the past 3 months. We brought DD and her bf to our home from a very dangerous living situation in February. There are bumps and so far these have been managed in an appropriate way. DD is making it to her bi-weekly T sessions, and seems to be working there. She has declined to do any groups offered. She is also staying clean of drugs and is pursuing getting her liver disease evaluated again and seek funding for treatment. She is very very tired, which could be her liver issues.

I have been really fatigued with an up cycle in my general pain level. My mind says - things are OK, and coping is being successful.  Guess my body says otherwise. Maybe it is moving toward that 60th birthday this year! My body shape is sure 'moving' in that direction. The fatigue and cognitive 'fogginess' is causing me problems at my part-time bookkeeping job. I met with the business owner and the shop manager today to review the numbers. They are going to do more of the business management piece and leave me to give them good numbers to work with. I am relieved.

I have also been participating in a healing care group offered through my church. It is with licensed T's. Though the is a biblical base to the group, I can see the similarities to other therapy groups I have been in over the years. I have a bit of struggle that I am still seeking healing of old wounds after the past 25 years of diligent work . Hmmmm. God is on board now, in a very direct way. This is moving things to a deeper level for me.

I appreciate an occasional PM to check up on me. Motivates me to come and post an update.  

qcr

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[swampped]

Good to hear from you, qcr!  I hope you will continue to take care of yourself, along with everybody else.  The church group sounds wonderful.  You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.      Swampped

[tristesse]

Hello qcarolr

good to hear form you. It sounds like things are moving in the right direction, and I am really very happy for you. I am also pleased that your dd is working on herself. Good news is always uplifting. My prayers wil continue for you, and I only ask for prayers in return. Take care

[lbjnltx]

Thanks for the update Qcarol!

I am still praying.



lbj

[qcarolr]

Even with some daily bumps, we are working together as a family. Well at least part of each day. Feels much more 'normal' to me. We are each learning.

Saturday we went to a restaurant with my family. All seven of we kids were there with spouses plus a few grandchildren and GD9 was only great grandchild. It was very special that DD28 was able to come with us. She had a little stress meltdown when she first came upstairs -- picking at me mostly about lots of old stuff. Gd did not want to go with her mom going -- it would be too risky to be 'embarrassed' by her mom. Things were getting too loud -- I went to drug store to buy a card for my mom. Found the perfect one - all the household stuff (cleaning, cooking, etc.) was not important. Only the love of being together in a family mattered. There was a short prayer for God to put the right words in my mouth when I got back home. I asked everyone to join me so I could read them the card. I was tearful, DD was tearful, her bf whispered to her 'see, she does love you', Gd continued to hide behind the recliner with a stubborn look on her face. I told them that I loved them, they were the most important girls in my life.

DD was also fearful of being ignored or judged. This has happened before. My oldest brother and my mom have been open to my little family always. My other siblings have isolated from us at different levels over the past 10 years. One sister, brother-in-law and their two girls (grown up with spouse/financee) did not interact at all with DD. They did not speak to me either unless I asked a direct question. Everyone else made an effort to welcome DD and her bf. And the food was good! Gd even had a good time with all these grownups and no other kids. Besides they have a tank of big fish at this place for my pet loving girl.

DD is going to her bi-weekly T sessions and wants to participate in some of the 'wellness' activities. She wants her bf to go with her, and he has no interest in this. I hope she can convince a couple of her other 'clean' friends to go with her to yoga once a week. There are a couple activities each day that are open to non-clients of mental health center. The activities vary from job related support, crafts, 'walk and talk', yoga, etc.  It is to support personal growth and social interaction. I am prayerful that DD can choose to do this without bf -- it will be healthy for this r/s to experience activities apart. Bf seems to have some trust issues and shows this with some over-controlling behaviors. She responds with such an angry attitude - this pushes him away. He has many issues of his own from an extremely abusive family situation.

For me, I am tired as always. Have been taking 2 hour naps instead of doing housecleaning. My requests for help with vacuuming and dusting are ignored. I have just let go of having a clean house. I have been doing a 13 week healing group and there are only 2 sessions left. I am not sure about the level of healing I feel. An underlying childhood survival strategy has become my focus to keep working through after the class. I have skipped my T sessions -- paid for the group instead. Still seeing my awesome massage T. Work is really boring and mostly just a needed paycheck at this point. Not really looking for a change and keeping open to any opportunity that crosses my path.

Off to work now. Thanks for sharing this day with me.

qcr