Ugh ... . last night (on the phone) I mentioned to my boyfriend that I was trying to book a trip to see my (former) best friend in California, but that I was feeling ambivalent. He responded (as I had feared) with silence, and then upon prodding a confession that he assumed (feelings are facts for him) I was planning this trip without taking him into consideration (and intimated that he wouldn't plan a trip without my input). My fear is that he is expressing (indirectly) fears about my friendship. I knew I shouldn't react, but I did-- and pretty much created a mess for myself where I looked like the borderline (maybe I am).
I'm having a bad day, and I want to reach out to him for reassurance and
validation (which I may or may not get). I'm feeling resentful and angry (about this, and other things).
How do I take care of myself? I want to trust the durability of the relationship (to weather my occasional meltdowns) and I want to let go of my negative feelings. Help.
