Thrown for a loop

[GettinHealthy]

I have been NC for about 4 months.  My uBPDexgf has been trying to get in contact with me almost every two weeks during the whole time, but I have blocked her number and haven't seen or heard what she is trying to say.  Our last exchange was not very friendly, hense the NC.  Today, she called from some other number and was able to leave a message that was all about how she saw something that reminded her of me and how much she missed me and how she isnt dating, etc, etc, etc... .  

I have done so much work and come so far, and one voicemail has really messed me up!

[almost789]

Don't do it! Has she had therapy? If not, your not going to get anything different than you got before. Infact, it will probably be worse and you will also move back from all the forward you've done. I know because, I did it myself and I wish I hadn't. I was about over it last September and recycled for some more and I ended up WORSE for the holidays and just worse over all. Wishing I could go back to September.

[freshlySane]

read the lessons here it happens to me all the time i get drawn back i re read our skype aol text google messages and i still have some emails. trying to piece together where i went wrong was she right after all.  This is breaking NC i was beating myself up. One voicemail will set you back a bit but don't let it rope you back in chaos thrives on chaos. you need to run if you can and stay hidden and emerge as a better person so that if she tries to contact you your emotionally equipped to deal with it i am 7 months in my birthday is next month and i am dreading it coming her new guys b day is four days after mine so its hard but i come on here and i read and write and answer and i tell myself i'm better for this experience

[KellyO]

It is a terrible feeling, but you know what, it gets better. There are ups and downs, but when you see you are free it is like waking from a nightmare. And still there are downs, but they don't take forever. It gets better, believe me. After 4 months I still have some bad days, but good days are really good.

[toliveistofly]

yeah, I went NC in October and mine tried to contact me a few times. I just kept blocking the new routes. Unfortunately she got through via email and I am somewhat back in crazy world (at least for brief moments in my mind). But she is in therapy (although it has only been a few months). I'm considering going dark again for about a year before I pop my head back up; maybe that would give the therapy some time work.

In your case, I would suggest blocking the new number just in case. It does get easier. good luck

[Newton]

GettinHealthy... .  hearing her words was emotionally triggering for you... .  no doubt.  You have done well to protect yourself until now... .  and she managed to get through your defense.

This is one incident, one message... .  that had a big impact... .  accept it for what it was... .  an isolated setback.

Moving forward from this is doing more of what you have done before... .  that worked 

Take care of yourself... .  as a priority.

[GettinHealthy]

Thank you all for the supportive words!  I have stayed strong so far and maintained NC.  I just need to maintain the strength and stay on the path of recovery.  I start my co-dependancy group on Wednesday.  Hopefully that will give me more tools to use on this path!