She never loved me

[freshlySane]

I realize that she never ever loved me looking back i was just a rebound to her previous relationship. I viewed all the things she said was lies to rope me in, in order to feel she is worth it but she never wanted me and when i was figuring her out that something was wrong she moved on to a new person. I read many stories from pwBPD that they use people until someone better comes and i know now and feel in my heart i was just that hump to get over till her next person it really hurts but it helps for me to move on.

[GustheDog]

Can you PM me a link to some of these stories, freshlysane?

I think most would suggest that she didn't intentionally lie to you, and that she didn't realize you'd trigger her bad behavior - it just happened.  But if you've got anecdotal evidence that some pwBPD are totally conscious of their using, I'd be very interested to see that.

[hithere]

that some pwBPD are totally conscious of their using,

My exBPD was honest much of the time in that she saw life in general as people using other people.  She lived her life in a way that she was only ever interested in helping someone else if there was something in it for her.  So I would say that yes, many people with BPD use other people and they do it somewhat consciously (whether it is to fill the void they feel or to pay for overspending), maybe they partially feel compelled by their illness but that is another question.

[freshlySane]

She painted me black and left me for her ex. When i re-established contact she flocked to me she told me she broke up with her ex but they were still together. they apparently had a fight and broke up for good. Then she was all in to me again when i relationship broke down she found a new guy and she is so in love with him. I realized i was jus financial and emotional support nothing more. She was using me to get money so she could move in with her ex and then probably instigate a fight to leave me blaming me and live happily ever after. she told me once i lied to you when i said i loved you i fell out of love three months ago now looking back 7 months out of the r/s. She never loved me she never was going to marry me and she was stringing me along until she got something better. She was on dating websites and the whole nine

I was just her puppet

[KellyO]

Yes, many people use other people, disordered or not. But: I know my exBF really believed every single person in this planet is like him. He was adamant to win = be the one who uses and not to be used. So, if he uses people and believes every person is ready to use him if he allows, there is no options for him. It is his view of the world. In every situation, his first thought was "what's in it for me?", and he thinks we are all like him. I know he is a slave of his own believes, but no one can free him from that slavery but him. It was my bad I did not go right there when I saw this, and I saw it early. It is my bad if I can't believe other people can be very different from me. They are, and they should be. Now I only have to accept it in very deep level.

What comes to love... .  I have accepted I will never know if he loved me or not. If he comes to my face and tells me "I never loved you because I can't love", then I will know. He believed it was love. I had my doubts. Maybe I did not love him? Maybe I was with him because he reminded me of my childhood? I don't know. It feels like love, but maybe I don't know what love is either  

[trevjim]

She painted me black and left me for her ex. When i re-established contact she flocked to me she told me she broke up with her ex but they were still together. they apparently had a fight and broke up for good. Then she was all in to me again when i relationship broke down she found a new guy and she is so in love with him. I realized i was jus financial and emotional support nothing more. She was using me to get money so she could move in with her ex and then probably instigate a fight to leave me blaming me and live happily ever after. she told me once i lied to you when i said i loved you i fell out of love three months ago now looking back 7 months out of the r/s. She never loved me she never was going to marry me and she was stringing me along until she got something better. She was on dating websites and the whole nine

I was just her puppet

feel the same, mine told me she didn't love me for the last few weeks or even months of our r/s . I don't know if its true or not, I just take what she said and says with a pinch of salt. maybe she said it to me and yours to you, to make themselves feel like they have a good reason to get with someone else, and sort of validate thier actions so they don't feel so guilty.