Forgivness does it kill a BPD

[Depression = 72% of members]

Reading everything on this board has helped me understand my wifes behavior.  The other day I told her that I forgave her (not her actions) but I forgave the little girl inside of her.  I know that I will never take her back - but by forgiving her she has crashed.  A basket case of tears.  By forgiving her I can now truly move on - I did all I could to save our marriage but it would never be enough.  Does forgiveness kill a BPD because then all the shame has to be placed on themselves?

[cal644]

Reading everything on this board has helped me understand my wifes behavior.  The other day I told her that I forgave her (not her actions) but I forgave the little girl inside of her.  I know that I will never take her back - but by forgiving her she has crashed.  A basket case of tears.  By forgiving her I can now truly move on - I did all I could to save our marriage but it would never be enough.  Does forgiveness kill a BPD because then all the shame has to be placed on themselves?

[Vindi]

Forgiving is good, it relieve alot of the stress you may have had from building up resentment. One can always forgive, but I think we will never forget either. You were honest, you forgave, what your wife goes thru now, is only the truth of what you told her, you forgive her, she may be sad, she may be angry she may want the marriage to work, but you made your choice. For now, your wife has to deal with the hard truth. I think you did the right thing and wishing you success on this new path.