Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
July 05, 2025, 12:02:21 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Need some advice.  (Read 463 times)
recoil
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 259


« on: February 15, 2013, 07:23:00 PM »

In about 15 days, I'm supposed to close on a house.  I was buying a house near my at-that-time-girlfriend (maybe ten seconds away by car).  Last Saturday she wanted a "break" (not see other people though - or so she said).  I said no, we need a break-up.  Aside from her having her daughter call me (vmail as I would not answer) and one inter-office communication (she initiated, basically inquiring about my daughter and explaining why her daughter called the previous day, I was cordial and brief), we've been NC.  I have had a couple wrong numbers into my office (beep and immediate hang up; no way to determine if it was her though but I've been there for years and very rarely have "wrong numbers" via inter-office calls).

I've contacted a real estate attorney and was basically told I cannot get myself out of this closing.  Only one possible way and that's if the appraisal comes in low.  I've been praying daily for that to happen.  I will know next week.

If the house appraises -- I will have to buy it.  Should I move in?

I would be able to go home without ever seeing her and her house.  For her though, she would have to ride by my house at least four times a day.

I think with time, I won't care that she lives down the road.  In a couple of months, I'll be much better healed. 

I see her at work all the time - and I've been able to keep NC on my part.  I'm just wondering what happens when she knows I live there and I'm still NC.

What a pickle.  I really like the house and it's a good move for me financially.  I was really hoping being close to her, but not living with her, would help.  What a mess I have gotten myself into.
Logged
atcrossroads
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married, 8 years
Posts: 343



« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2013, 09:22:47 PM »

I read your post quickly and may not have gleaned the nuances of your situation, but from what I did gather, you have no choice (unless the appraisal falls through).

It certainly doesn't sound ideal to live so close when you are striving for NC (ex. hard to take a walk, bike ride, etc. without fear of passing her on the street); however, you said you work together and have succeeded thus far.

So, I think you are stuck financially with this house.  Sending strength that you are able to maintain NC even while living a few houses down.  My h and I are separated (I've moved in with my parents), but we work together too.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!