How is it that he can seem so comfortable in dating openly...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

We are still married and have only been living apart for 3 months... .   He now has no problem planning vacations with the OW (same chick he was with for months before I knew there was a promblem)

[Lovingwife315]

We are still married and have only been living apart for 3 months... .   He now has no problem planning vacations with the OW (same chick he was with for months before I knew there was a promblem)

[laelle]

I do not know him, but I would take a guess on ... . he does not have the ability to empathize, therefore he does not care about your feelings.

Its also possible he is getting pressure from her to "come out".  She has been the other woman for a while, probably doesnt feel comfortable in the seat she created for herself. 

[marbleloser]

His detachment started long before yours did,so he emotionally "left" quite some time ago.He saw/had problems before you recognized it.I'm sure it's difficult and probably heartbreaking for you.

What are you doing for yourself?Is there a way you can get out and do things,just for you?

I also agree that she's pushing him as a "See who I'm with!" kinda thing.Says alot about her,unfortunately.

I'd recommend reading "Hope for the Seperated".It helped me a lot and it might be just what you need.

I was in your H's shoes a couple of years ago.What are your expectations? Do you wish to reconcile,or are you reserved to divorce?