The Sh@# hit the fan

[Atreyu]

Well,

It finally happened!  My brother confronted (nicely) my BPD mother about her behavior, lack of love growing up and the controlling nature she has tried to rule with him.  During the conversation, she vacillated between waif, queen and witch... .   And then disowned him at the end.  Completely ridiculous. 

He's 24, and she has been so horrible to him that she even flew all the way to FL to meet with a college admissions counselor to tell them he was a drug abuser and violent!  Unreal, but good for him for learning about the illness, bpdfamily.com and moving on. 

Over the course of the discussion, he asked her to seek professional help, with someone that can provide care for BPD sufferers... . Her response is what shocked me.  In one sentence she completely changed the "game" for everyone. 

"My disorder is none of your business!"

She knows she has BPD.

Un freaking real.  As a family counselor, I knew and would have given a formal diagnosis if she were not a family member... . But here we are... .     And I'm uncertain.  She knows and no effort to heal exists.  No more tiptoeing through the egg shells, its all out there! 

Interestingly enough, she then blocked the family on her Facebook, including my in laws (8th grade response to conflict) and is convinced my grandparents are manipulating her children against her, almost comical. 

But she knows!  I'm almost angry about that more than anything.  I have moments of wanting a relationship with her, to being horribly angry about the lifelong manipulation, to feeling sorry for her.  But like I told my grandparents, if the whole family is in the doghouse, the party isn't with her anymore.  We keep making room for each other in the doghouse and hope to get any fleas off of us.  Woof woof. 

[thesurvivor]

I don't know your mother, but I think alot of them, deep, deep, deep, Did I say deep? down know they have something, and al,ot of these people are smart, I think alot of them may have tiny moments of clarity, and sometimes, somewhere they know they have BPD.

But I don't think that most of the time this is true, I think she just got overwhelmed and blurted this out, because it's buried there, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was quickly reburied.

I know my mom went to a couple of therapists, who diagnosed her with BPD and she was out the door, and of course he was crazy and a bad Dr.  But maybe somewhere that left a little print, that a dr. told her, I told her. 


I mean they are smart, once I got her to listen for part of while I read the symptoms for BPD and when it became to obvious she couldn't take it.  So maybe they do know.

[ForeverDad]

What's that old Hamlet quote?  "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Disclaimer: 'Protest' back then means 'promise' these days.  But it sure sounds better this way.