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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Still crave re-engagement  (Read 461 times)
me757
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 174


« on: May 07, 2013, 10:14:07 AM »

I've been NC with exBPD for 9 days now. I know that there is no hope for a healthy relationship with her and have accepted it. However, what is so annoying is how I still crave re-engagement. I just want to be free of this so bad yet I still feel like an addict. My problem is that I haven't been in a lot of relationships and this one definitely was the deepest emotionally I've ever been. Sometimes I think I need a long vacation to reinvigorate myself and truly get over her.
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seeking balance
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 7146



« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2013, 11:53:47 AM »

Time & Tears - no magic pill to get this out of our system.

You are going through a major emotional change - as such, take really good care of yourself.  During this time, do the little things like: eat healthy, exercise, sleep, see trusted friends, stay away from drugs/alcohol - think of it like recovering from a major surgery.

It will get better -I promise.

Do you have a therapist you are working with to process your emotions?

Peace,

SB
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Faith does not grow in the house of certainty - The Shack
hithere
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« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2013, 12:54:50 PM »

Then take a vacation if you can! I did after I stopped seeing my exBPD and it helped me re-charge!
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me757
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« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2013, 02:38:08 PM »

Not seeing a therapist right now. I am doing improv comedy that I feel is helping. I think a vacation would really help... . especially if it was backpacking where you meet a lot of new people usually. The continuation of these improv classes will help too. Surprisingly, there are a few others in the class that just got out of a breakup. I would recommend it for anyone.
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hithere
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« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2013, 02:55:02 PM »

I would see a therapist if I was you... .  it will help.
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