ExBPD still has photos of us

[Deleted]

It's been a while since I've last posted. I deactivated my Facebook about a year ago during the break up and I recently reactivated it to look at wedding photos of my sister who lives in a Europe. When I first logged on I saw that my exBPD still had me tagged in over 100 photos of us ranging from first dates to holidays to birthdays to random kissing/cuddling photos. How can someone who has essentially split me black, blame me for the failure of the relationship, and has completely disappeared still have them up?. I've gone NC since the break up   but I just don't get it. I know her new boy toys have seen the photos, I know she's made me out to seem like the devil reincarnated. So why keep memories of me around? I truly hate that I cant and never will make sense of BPD behavior  . Any insight would greatly be appreciated.

Sorry I posted this twice!

[lhd981]

Going through the exact same thing myself. I only recently re-activated my Facebook to find that my BPD exgf and her one friend are no longer friends with me (no surprise), but it's been almost a year and there are still pictures tagged of me from the night that we met (it was at a concert). Considering that she was extremely meticulous in how she went out of her way to sever all other digital ties - not to mention making me out to be the devil incarnate as well, it seems strange that these pictures would still be tagged, much less still in existence.

[Deleted]

Lhd981 I know it's crazy.

It goes against everything I thought about BPD. My BPD was a narcissistic mixed with waif BPD type  . After we broke up she washed her hands clean she did nothing wrong and it was all on me. Soon after she met someone new or so I heard. Boggles my mind why they would keep some footprints of their past relationship for the world to see.

[SaintofCircumstance]

Deleted,

My ex kept our pictures up for a few weeks after I stopped talking to her, then deleted everything. Not sure why actually. Maybe she couldn't be reminded of what she did to me? I don't think I'll ever understand the last two years of my life. It's been difficult. My ex picked up and ran out west with her new "best friend", a guy she knew I didn't care for due to his disrespect for me. She's currently traveling doing her own thing trying to get a job in Portland.

SOC

[VeryFree]

Mine has none online, but she has all my paper-pictures, including those before our r/s (my childhood).

She refuses to give them back... .   

[Deleted]

Thank you all for replying.

Perhaps it's a memory of yet another person they pushed away. Another opportunity to be loved ruined by them. Honestly I have no clue. A BPDs mind is as convoluted  and mysterious as black holes and particle physics. 

[lipstick]

Hi all!

Just wanted to chime in on this one. My BPDex dumped me back in October of last year. Moved out while I was at work. Went total Silent Treatment on me. As to your original question on the pics - no freaking clue!  Mine had posts from me on his personal FB wall prior to the "dumping". He had also created a second FB account - a type of "alter ego" where he would blog about me. After he left - all of the pictures / posts disappeared from both accounts.

Fast-forward from October to April. April would have marked one year since we reunited from our younger years. High-school sweethearts. He has "unhidden" (is that a word?  ) my posts on his personal FB wall and has done the same with a very significant photo on his alter-ego wall.  Weird. He "liked" a post of mine during the April timeframe as well. Now he's gone silent again. The mind... .  it boggles !

[Deleted]

Hey lipstick,

Truly weird. It makes me think that some do keep memories of us to possibly re engage us one day down the road. Sort of a piece of clothing you decided not to throw away but rather just throw it inside a closet and forget about it. A year or so you find that piece of clothing and say oh wow I guess I'll wear that today!.  Truly crazy and without compassion.

[SWLSR]

I am two years out of a thirteen yr marriage.  Mine did the same thing wiped me out of her life smeared my name had an affair and took no blame for any of it.  Today she is trying to sneak her way back in.  Why I dont know but its what they do.

[Findingmysong723]

Kinda off subject, well it's still about pictures though.  : ) I noticed my Ex Boyfriend took a lot of pictures, almost like he was cataloging his life. I mean I know people like to take pictures, but he seemed to take a lot more than the average person. My Ex took a lot of pictures of his pets (he loved them a lot) and of me, even when we were "just friends." Throughout our relationship he most of taken so many pictures of me, however they were always on his phone so he might of deleted them. My Ex only liked to take pictures when he was acting goofy, because he didn't like how he looked in most pictures. In any of the pictures we had taken together, he would always say I looked good but he didn't. However he liked one of the non goofy pictures I took of him, so I guess that was progress.

[fromheeltoheal]

A couple of things: pwBPD don't like to ever let all the way go; mine found me on Facebook again after 25 years (!), and she's still trying to have a 'friendship' even though we've been NC for longer than the r/s lasted.  And when we were together she was always talking about past boyfriends and husbands and sex with other guys, which was her way of keeping me on edge, in her quest for total control.  So I figure I'm a current threat to her new victims, maybe she speaks more highly of me now than she did then; fun to believe that.

[Deleted]

Fromheeltoheal,

Wow makes me think what if my exBPD tries to come into contact with me I have to be ready to ignore her. I do agree with you that they don't like to let to all the way for whatever reason guilt,shame, or personal benefit. I'd like to agree with the latter.