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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Flirting with other women... what's the best way to deal with it?  (Read 342 times)
caughtnreleased
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« on: May 14, 2013, 04:46:24 PM »

What's the right way to deal with this? Just withdraw? Confront them on it? Pretend you don't give a crap because you're just so much better than the other person and they could never measure up to you Smiling (click to insert in post) ? My BPDex did it right from the get go... .  but now that I think about it, all of my boyfriends have done it to me at some point or another, as have other guys I've dated. Actually my first boyfriend kept me interested wayyy longer than he ever should have by always having someone else who was interested in him on the side and playing it up. Since being with him, I don't react in the same way, in fact I play it cool, but now I'm starting to think What the heck this is unpleasant and I deserve better.  But I'm also starting to think maybe it's something about me... .  since pretty much EVERY guy I have dated or been with has done it! Is this something that everyone does... .  or everyone does with me? 
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The crumbs of love that you offer me, they're the crumbs I've left behind. - L. Cohen
Want2know
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« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2013, 05:38:16 PM »

Is it the fact that the men you have been with left you for another woman?  If so, this is not triangulation (read definition).

If you can provide a little more detail, it would be helpful.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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“The path to heaven doesn't lie down in flat miles. It's in the imagination with which you perceive this world, and the gestures with which you honor it." ~ Mary Oliver
caughtnreleased
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« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2013, 09:41:40 PM »

My exbf did not leave me for another woman, but spent lots of time with women who he implied were interested in him, and always left open the possibility that something could happen with them, flirting with them in front of me, never ever saying he was not interested in them, etc.

Another ex, while we were together told me about how he had "connected" with another woman who had taken care of him during a point when he was going through alcohol withdrawal, (he said for him the connection had not been romantic), but that the attention she gave him made him realize how I didn't take good enough care of him (at that point I had given everything up in my life to prepare to move to another country for him... .  ) etc.

Yet another guy, when I called him a week after breaking up with him told me I had called just in time because he had been about to sleep with someone else... .   

My BPDex, very early on talked about female friends who wanted to sleep with him, and how he had a whole list of people willing to sleep with him at the touch of a button... .   and it goes on!

Is this normal behaviour that I am simply overly sensitive too? Or maybe I'm just attracted to losers

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The crumbs of love that you offer me, they're the crumbs I've left behind. - L. Cohen
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