Sarcastic much?... so over it

[Jeansok]

Hey guys. Well ive been hiatus for a few days and I think this whole thing is effecting me worse than I thought. We saw a new therapist (seperately) and now my husband has been joking all night hiw he's bipolar... . well I think he's more BPD from what I've been reading but she sure made a quick judgement call. But based on my conversation with her first. I dont think she went about it the right way but he's been sarcastic about it all night and if course nothing but bad things to say about her. I agree she prob should have done somethings different but still. "Sigh"... . he is still going to let her get him evaluated but because the last therapist he saw told him he was "normal" with a strong personally type he was fine. I want to scream and talk to this other guy but if course I won't. Its like reading my life story the things I read on here its crazy

I find myself being very guarded. Trying to live what I perceive as a normal life ... . having been invited with my husband to go to the lake with a business associate and his wife ... . I couldn't help but be excited I was asked and then immediately thought this would never happen. My husband surely to find something wrong with these people too.

Sorry this post is kind of all over the place. Im so tired of the sarcasm tonight I want nothing to do with him. Asking a simple question is too much.

Ive been reading Walking on Eggshells and that along with this board. Have been extremely heloful. I practiced boundaries last night and went to bed telling him I cant deal with the name calling tonight.

At times I feel so bad. Afterall if the tables were turned wouldnt I want someone to love me?... . super bummed over it all

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[Wishful thinking]

Hi Jeansok

Im so sorry bout the therapy. If it helps, theyve first diagnosed my husband with anxiety disorder with BPD traits. Bipolar was also mentioned before. I know you really looked forward to the therapy session for your husband.

Good thing you didnt stick around for the name calling etc though.

If it helps, everytime my husband comes back from his psych, he would say that he (the psych) doesnt know anything about BPD. And goes off on a tangent.

Im also struggling to go out with friends without my husband. Last night was my first night out. It felt kinda empty and i had to endure the other couple that went with us etc. But i trust it will go better. Its just a first step and its better than isolating myself.   

Sometimes you will feel like for every 1 step forward, you will take 3 steps back. It takes time. Hope you feel better soon. 

[Jeansok]

Thanks wishful thinking as always :-) I went out with friends last fri night and determined to do more for myself. Its the hardest thing ive ever dealt with. I so long for a partner in him to lice lufe together I know its always important to have ur own time and all... . but this of course is different. Your responses do help and thx for caring. Im just sad dealing with the pissibility it will always be this way and pray to God to give ne strength and what to do. I feel so selfish and bad for him a lot... .