Did your BPD parter try to run into you after your break up

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

OK so my XBPD boyfriend and  I haven't seen each other in almost two months. It was a horrible break up that involved me catching him doing drugs again so I broke up with him and didn't let him come on vacation with my daughter and I. He still owes me money that I asked him for a few times and gave up on it weeks ago.

We come from the same small town. There's a festival there that he hasn't been to in years that I always take my young child to so she can ride the rides, watch fireworks etc. I dodged a major bullet a week ago. I was on my way down there since my mom has a food booth there and all my friends and some family were there. For some reason, I thought there's no way he would show his face there but I had a bad bad feeling so I stopped myself from going and stayed home that Saturday night alone.

Well, no one in my family wanted to tell me they saw him but my sister finally spilled it. Apparently my ex decided to go and not only go but plop his nasty a--s down within feet of my mom's booth to make sure my family saw him. Now he knows my mom HATES HIS GUTS. This was a pretty weird move given he knows my family is disgusted by him and he owes me money.

Best part is that I think he was there with two women who apparenlty were not very attractive and older. Not trying to be superficial but it did make me feel a little better. Even better is I ran into a friend of ours that told me he hadn't seen him in almost ten years and he couldn't believe how bad he looked. My ex has been abusing drugs for a long time now and it's really taken a toll on him apparently. It just proved to me that he is still out partying and being an addict.

But wow, really? I'm completely shocked that he had the nerve to just plop himself down next to my family. Part of me things he was going to have a run in with me for some reason. Thank God I listened to my gut. There was soemthing inside of me telling me to stay away from that place that night.

Did your exes try and have run ins with you? I mean, this freaked me out. I had to finally tell people i honestly didn't want to hear anything about him or where he was, what he was doing or who he is with.

[feelingcrazy7832]

OK so my XBPD boyfriend and  I haven't seen each other in almost two months. It was a horrible break up that involved me catching him doing drugs again so I broke up with him and didn't let him come on vacation with my daughter and I. He still owes me money that I asked him for a few times and gave up on it weeks ago.

We come from the same small town. There's a festival there that he hasn't been to in years that I always take my young child to so she can ride the rides, watch fireworks etc. I dodged a major bullet a week ago. I was on my way down there since my mom has a food booth there and all my friends and some family were there. For some reason, I thought there's no way he would show his face there but I had a bad bad feeling so I stopped myself from going and stayed home that Saturday night alone.

Well, no one in my family wanted to tell me they saw him but my sister finally spilled it. Apparently my ex decided to go and not only go but plop his nasty a--s down within feet of my mom's booth to make sure my family saw him. Now he knows my mom HATES HIS GUTS. This was a pretty weird move given he knows my family is disgusted by him and he owes me money.

Best part is that I think he was there with two women who apparenlty were not very attractive and older. Not trying to be superficial but it did make me feel a little better. Even better is I ran into a friend of ours that told me he hadn't seen him in almost ten years and he couldn't believe how bad he looked. My ex has been abusing drugs for a long time now and it's really taken a toll on him apparently. It just proved to me that he is still out partying and being an addict.

But wow, really? I'm completely shocked that he had the nerve to just plop himself down next to my family. Part of me things he was going to have a run in with me for some reason. Thank God I listened to my gut. There was soemthing inside of me telling me to stay away from that place that night.

Did your exes try and have run ins with you? I mean, this freaked me out. I had to finally tell people i honestly didn't want to hear anything about him or where he was, what he was doing or who he is with.

[feelingcrazy7832]

And to clarify, even though I said we are from the same small town, he hasn't been to this festival in many years, not since before we even began dating many years ago. It was creepy. He knows I go every year. He knows my family works there. He knows my entire family is disgusted with him and his behavior. He knows he still owes me a bunch of money. What is seriously wrong with these people?

I honestly think he thought he would get a reaction out of me or someone in my family but he was oh so wrong. He got nothing. My mom didn't acknowledge him one bit. I didn't send any messages to him asking for my money even though I so wanted to.

I guess this means I am starting to heal, starting to make peace with all of it and starting to feel better without him. But wow, it really did piss me off. I wanted to call him, tell him what an absolute a--shole he is for the things he's done and the money he owes me and the crap behavior he displayed and disrespect he showed to my family and me for three years. He is so not worth it anymore. He just showed me what a sick weirdo he really is.

Sorry I need to vent and get this out of me. He's so disgusting!

[marbleloser]

Does driving through my work parking lot and parking on the side of the highway watching me drive by count?

Yes,it happens,until you bore them to death with not caring and paying no attention.They lose interest and find someone else to attach to.

[feelingcrazy7832]

That certainly counts and is very creepy :-)

[Bananas]

Mine follows me around work.  He does wacky things like ride the escalator down and right back up again, ride the elevator up and down, duck into the bathroom, then out quickly to follow me, move his car near where I park.  Face to face he totally ignores me, won't look at me or talk to me, but likes to be in the background lurking. 

[delgato]

Face to face he totally ignores me, won't look at me or talk to me, but likes to be in the background lurking. 

Mine did the same exact thing when we were working for the same company. Went out of her way to do it.

Sometimes wondered if she did that just to try to mess with my head -- or that it was the BPD talking & she thought that was "normal" behavior.

One could easily argue that stuff like that is defined as stalking. I never brought it up to higher-ups or HR, but certainly considered it a number of times. I reasoned that she would not only talk her way out of it, but also try to make me look like the crazy/paranoid one. And I was all set with that by that point.

[ComoLu]

Mine goes to great lengths to avoid me in person.  He won't even talk to me on the phone because apparently he cannot control what he says to me and cannot handle his emotions.  However, when we were in court together, he kept staring at me, and he even waited way behind his lawyer for me to pass, so he could file in directly behind me.

[SurvivedLove]

I'm lucky that we live in two different countries, so I won't accidentally bump into him at the Mall or at a café.

But, that being said, the internet is an awesome place for stalkers to thrive.

So he did that. On WoW, there's a thing called realID, that'll let you see all the people on your friends list when they are online, what game they are playing (WoW, Diablo etc.) and such.

There's also a cell phone app for it, where you can be logged in from your phone. You cannot play, but you can check your mailbox, chat and play around on the auction house in game. He had never had the app, he didn't want it the number of times I asked him if he wanted to get it so he could beep me during the day if needed (my cellphone was/is a tad broken and texts/calls doesn't always work). But nopes, he was never interested... .

Until about a week after I told him goodbye and to never contact me again, because he's toxic, a lying sack of dung and that I was done taking the blame for his inability to face his own issues. Suddenly he was there ALL the time, online on his phone while at work, while at his parents for dinner, ALL the time.

The worst thing was that I hadn't even noticed. It was two friend that informed me, because they were a bit concerned over his "surveillance/spying" on me >.<.

It became noticable to me when he'd start butting into every conversation I had with our mutual friends, talking to them as soon as they started talking to me.

Yeah, that creeped me out and it still does. Right now, he's using his mothers FB page to try to spy on me.

I wish he'd just move on and find a new victim, never returning to haunt me again!

[feelingcrazy7832]

I guess what confuses me about this is that face to face towards the end of our break up cycles he would tell me to never contact him again, to stay away, etc. Then he would do weird things like tell me later he drove by my house once to see if anyone was in my driveway. He actually asked me once if I had ever driven by his house when we split up for 3 months and got back in contact again. I thought that was a weird question at the time because i never went near his house and didn't want to know anything.

After that three months of no contact last year, we got back together (stupid stupid stupid) and he would tell me he never took this one particular picture of the two of us off his bedroom wall. It was a picture we both loved of the first date we ever had. Part of me thought he was full of crap and he probably just told me that and ran and hung it back up on the wall before I came over. Part of me thinks he would be weird enough to do such a thing. Me... . I took down and ripped up every picture I ever had, deleted any pics of him from my phone and the only remaining pics are some from a few trips that are backed up on my hard drive at home. He also kept up pictures of friends who he painted black or shut out and said negative things about. I don't know. It's pure insanity.

[GreenMango]

Feelingcrazy addicts do screwed up stuff.  Have you ever heard people who have alcoholics or addicts in their life say addicts are selfish.

Selfish in the sense nothing matters but the getting their drug of choice, finding their drug of choice, doing their drug of choice, might do any number of things - intoxicated people aren't really know for their stellar judgment and sometimes their behavior is pretty awe inspiring in its audacity. 

Keep your head up.