It's either cyber stalking or it's me being paranoid - neither one is good

[BlueCat]

Sigh.

I'm going to keep this vague but I am part of a certain lifestyle group and a few years ago my sister decided to join that group. She has every right to and I have no right (or ability) whatsoever to stop her but even before I stopped talking to her it bothered me. I felt like this group is my happy corner of the world, away from my family and then my sister came in.

So as of a year ago I stopped talking to her. Her reactions have made me think that she might actually be BPD (as opposed to just fleas). I posted one of her long emails here, full of cursing (I had to edit it of course) and alternately telling me that she didn't care about me and that I needed to get help, bringing up examples from 30 years ago, etc.

So she's on the email list for a local group of this lifestyle. She rarely posts, but has a few times. I've gotten pretty quiet on the list because I felt weird about her knowing what I'm doing, especially after she recently read my facebook page and emailed me about what I wrote.

But the other day someone mentioned they needed new moderators for the list. I emailed back to the list and volunteered.

About an hour later my sister emailed the list and volunteered to be a moderator too.

It just feels wrong. I can't help but wonder if she would have still volunteered if I had been smart and privately emailed the owner volunteering so my sister didn't know.

So I feel like I'm being cyber stalked. And maybe I am. But maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm being paranoid at this point. I know that it could be a coincidence. Either she didn't see the email where I volunteered or she just genuinely wanted to help, but it doesn't feel that way to me.

So I emailed the owner back and profusely apologized (because I know how incredibly flaky I sounded) and told her I couldn't be a moderator at this time.

Sigh.

Thankfully our interests within the group are different so we won't physically cross paths very often (if at all) but it just bugs me that I have to even think of this.

Just a vent there. There's no real solution, I know. Maybe more meditation for me  

[Deb]

It's creepy. An ex-friend, who I suspect is NPD or BPD, tried to join every group I was on (That she could find, she doesn't know most of my usernames). One group, the moderator knew she was a troublemaker and rejected her. I heard she went on a mini-rampage all over the net, blaming me.

[tryintogetby]

When someone is by nature stalking, harrasing, abusive, etc., it's not paranoia.  It's a normal reaction.  I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.  

[Rubies]

Uhm... . go ahead be a moderator so you can ban her?   

I am cyber-stalked by 4 BPDs.  I make it quite fun.  DD is stalked, too.  She doesn't like using the internet because of them.  This site is the only one unknown to them I think.  I don't even care anymore.

My supposedly recovered BPD niece is proud of her internet stalking skills.  She's demonstrated them to me and they're quite amazing.  She stalked my stalker and got rid of him, then ran a check on an online date who gave me a wrong name.  Pulled big dirt up on him!