one minute to the next and my own triggers

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

i never been to this point of heeling during my many breaks ups (15 or more) with my BPD ex. i got back and forth from mad to sad and just a touch of letting it all go.

ive been talking to someone new and trying to keep it real with her, ive told her about the mess ive been living and how i know i did my part to keep it alive. she seems to be understanding. its a great releaf to me to have a new friend... . thaks my mind away. im trying to work on not letting this new relactionship turn into me being dependent of the new person. its not a ez thing to do at this point.

i find as long as my mind is free from the past i move forward and feel ok almost better at times' when im alone for long i feel the old slipping back in... . the missing her lying to myself about how life was dreaming of the ex returning. today 19 days or so with NC with ex its a mixed bag as well. today was frist day in 15 days i couldnt txt or talk with new friend during the day as she was out of town all day. the frist part of day was good, buy noon is was feeling blue... . wondering why this all had to happen. two pm the sick feeling was back wondering how ex is doing. home by four pm sat in livimg room alone till seven or so felt very mad started old habits... . looking up BPD and bipolar disored all over again. around 8pm new friend called soo as she was back in town... . picked me up and took me away very fast again.

im sure about alot of this any input would be great. thanks everyone.

[simplyasiam]

i never been to this point of heeling during my many breaks ups (15 or more) with my BPD ex. i got back and forth from mad to sad and just a touch of letting it all go.

ive been talking to someone new and trying to keep it real with her, ive told her about the mess ive been living and how i know i did my part to keep it alive. she seems to be understanding. its a great releaf to me to have a new friend... . thaks my mind away. im trying to work on not letting this new relactionship turn into me being dependent of the new person. its not a ez thing to do at this point.

i find as long as my mind is free from the past i move forward and feel ok almost better at times' when im alone for long i feel the old slipping back in... . the missing her lying to myself about how life was dreaming of the ex returning. today 19 days or so with NC with ex its a mixed bag as well. today was frist day in 15 days i couldnt txt or talk with new friend during the day as she was out of town all day. the frist part of day was good, buy noon is was feeling blue... . wondering why this all had to happen. two pm the sick feeling was back wondering how ex is doing. home by four pm sat in livimg room alone till seven or so felt very mad started old habits... . looking up BPD and bipolar disored all over again. around 8pm new friend called soo as she was back in town... . picked me up and took me away very fast again.

im sure about alot of this any input would be great. thanks everyone.

[Octoberfest]

i never been to this point of heeling during my many breaks ups (15 or more) with my BPD ex. i got back and forth from mad to sad and just a touch of letting it all go.

ive been talking to someone new and trying to keep it real with her, ive told her about the mess ive been living and how i know i did my part to keep it alive. she seems to be understanding. its a great releaf to me to have a new friend... . thaks my mind away. im trying to work on not letting this new relactionship turn into me being dependent of the new person. its not a ez thing to do at this point.

i find as long as my mind is free from the past i move forward and feel ok almost better at times' when im alone for long i feel the old slipping back in... . the missing her lying to myself about how life was dreaming of the ex returning. today 19 days or so with NC with ex its a mixed bag as well. today was frist day in 15 days i couldnt txt or talk with new friend during the day as she was out of town all day. the frist part of day was good, buy noon is was feeling blue... . wondering why this all had to happen. two pm the sick feeling was back wondering how ex is doing. home by four pm sat in livimg room alone till seven or so felt very mad started old habits... . looking up BPD and bipolar disored all over again. around 8pm new friend called soo as she was back in town... . picked me up and took me away very fast again.

im sure about alot of this any input would be great. thanks everyone.

hey simply,


The days following a breakup with a pwBPD are trying ones.  Do not feel abnormal; you are grieving.  It is what healthy people do.

I can tell you one thing, you are WORLDS ahead of other people in how you are handling this situation.  I never thought about it much, but the whole concept of a "rebound" relationship is pretty disgusting IMO.  Good for you for being up front with your new interest.  And good for you for recognizing the need to control your relationship with your new interest.  If that does develop into something, it will be 10x better because it happened because of YOU and HER, not because of your BPDex.


Chin up brother.

[simplyasiam]

thank very much. i really am tring here. i tried hard with ex but she feels she has nope. i wish the ex the best her and GOD be with her kids, i would have bever gave up if she would have give a little but ex only gives into her feelings and wants that pop up in her head.

i thank God and my dad for alot of my feeling better God for always being the same and being here and dad for telling (son if you cant have what you want... . her then you better want what you have... . GOd my family and ME)

im very thankful for this board also ppl her are so helpful and caring. the work shops and info are great

[simplyasiam]

only seeing the bad times now for the most part, when i think of the good times its kinda like BPDex was not really there. ive started to see what mess of a person ex was, im not sure if she was in control of alot of what she did but dont care now she still did when she knew real help was out there

im at home now in my chair it quite im not worried about have i made ex mad today am i not doing what ever the right way why is she crying will she leave in middel of the nite. i think maybe they call this being relaxed im not sure yet.

im at about 30 day point of NC with ex i cant tell you how this has changed my life. ex left about 60 days ago, we had some contact in frist 30 day and i did reach out her atwo times when this frist started. she only call two time in past 30 days... . i didnt answer the calls... . thank GOD! i blocked ex on facebook but she has a friend following me on facebook, not sure what thats about or if they even still check up on me there. (kinda sick on my part to let it go on) but my ego wants ex to know im doing well and having a life.

this is longest we have ever went without contact in six years. no clue what is coming next. have i been blacked. has her mental illness just wet away has it seem will ex reach out to me again WILL BE ABALE TO SAY NO? so many thing to wonder about but atleast im not feeling like i was 30 days ago!

[simplyasiam]

feeling really down this after noon, to much free time a nd nothing to do

[Validation78]

Hi Simply!

It's tough to get through the time alone, with nothing to do. We all understand that.

Make it your business to step over your feelings and keep yourself occupied if that's what helps you. Please be careful about getting into another relationship too soon. You can expand your circle of friends, reconnect with old friends, do volunteer work and get comfortable in your own skin.

I have found myself stepping out of my comfort zone these last few months, and putting fear of the unknown at bay. It feels good to do, say, and be what I want again. I would welcome another relationship someday, just not today. I think I have some healing work to do yet, and we have to decide for ourselves when the time is right. I just want to put out a word of caution to you and make you think about other options!

Best Wishes,

Val78