Taking back control of my own life

[Depression = 72% of members]

     I'm here with this forum because I have a core wound from a horrible toxic relationship with a person that clearly displayed every trait associated with BPD and has been self diagnosed with other types of personality disorder.

    To me this is another manifestation of the control that this person placed on me. I did not voluntarily give control to this person. It was taken from me by force. It was against my will and I was powerless to stop it. Tactics were used that took advantage of my weakness. My codependency was exploited. It isn't my fault that I am codependent. I had no control over what happened to me as a child when my personality core was developing. My codependency is a coping mechanism that developed from inadequacy in nurturing. I cannot make it disappear. I can only recognize it and hopefully change my behavior. It is about survival for me now. At this point I want control of my life back. I no longer want the suffering and emotional pain. That person is out of my life. The longer I go no contact and stay firm in my resolve to accept that it's over the better I will feel. I can sense this. I felt strong today for a few moments. Then I fell back into depression and anxiety. I cried again. Not much. Just a little. That is an improvement.

[Perfidy]

     I'm here with this forum because I have a core wound from a horrible toxic relationship with a person that clearly displayed every trait associated with BPD and has been self diagnosed with other types of personality disorder.

    To me this is another manifestation of the control that this person placed on me. I did not voluntarily give control to this person. It was taken from me by force. It was against my will and I was powerless to stop it. Tactics were used that took advantage of my weakness. My codependency was exploited. It isn't my fault that I am codependent. I had no control over what happened to me as a child when my personality core was developing. My codependency is a coping mechanism that developed from inadequacy in nurturing. I cannot make it disappear. I can only recognize it and hopefully change my behavior. It is about survival for me now. At this point I want control of my life back. I no longer want the suffering and emotional pain. That person is out of my life. The longer I go no contact and stay firm in my resolve to accept that it's over the better I will feel. I can sense this. I felt strong today for a few moments. Then I fell back into depression and anxiety. I cried again. Not much. Just a little. That is an improvement.