Signs as a young child?

[Washisheart]

So my fiancé took a recent trip to New York to see family and saw many family members he hasn't seen since early youth. He calls me and asks "Am I cold? My auntie said even as a young boy I was cold" and I told him the truth that yes at times he is very cold. He sounded almost hurt to hear this.

His mother did tell me he was difficult and until the day he moved out her house was always in turmoil, but I was assuming more adolescence, the rebellious stage. Not being a small child. Although he was about maybe five when his mom left his dad (I believe it's the severing of the relationship with his father whom he was close to that contributed to him being uBPD).

Has anyone else heard of a loved one w BPD showing signs so early?

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[Cloudy Days]

My husband actually told his mom he was going to commit suicide I think at the age of 5. She told me he was always very emotional and would get upset easily. This made her start hiding things from him and lying to him so he wouldn't get upset. Then he would find out about it and it basically made him worse to find out his family was lying to him. Things like going out to the movies without him because he was too young for the movie. What I have been told is that his father was very abusive and he was most likely mimicking his dad on the suicide threat. She was also the kind of mother that bribed her son to behave at a young age, so in other words if he threw a fit over something she would give him what he wanted to get him to stop.

[eyvindr]

She was also the kind of mother that bribed her son to behave at a young age, so in other words if he threw a fit over something she would give him what he wanted to get him to stop.

Good lord, this is exactly how my upwBPDexGF deals with her daughter, pretty much exclusively! Everything is a negotiation -- from what's for dinner to when dinner happens, to when bedtime happens, to whether or not schoolwork gets done, to whether or not she takes a bath/shower before bed -- absolutely maddening!

Did I try to help? Sure. Foolishly -- and generally to my own detriment, in terms of how mom would respond to my attempts. Eventually, I just detached from it -- and when she'd ask me for my opinion, I'd tell her I was sure she'd figure it out. On a few occasions, she'd tell me that she tried one of my "old school" parenting methods, and it worked wonders -- but in our 2 yrs together, I never actually witnessed her doing that, and suspect that she just told me those things to make me feel like she valued my feedback.  Ugh!