spending my money through me

[zubizou87]

Hey guys

I was just thinking about something the other day.

So my mother has always had a wierd relationship with money, she never has any yet she has a well paid job and lives in a house that is worth almost a million. I know that other adult children who have mothers in her position get alot more financial help than I do (weddings, grad school, mortgage deposit.) It does make me kind of resentful because she spends so much on herself that if I ever asked for financial help she wouldn't have any money to offer me... .makes me feel quite vulnerable sometimes.

Anyway I've been living very comfortably abroad and have consequently saved myself a pretty comfortable next egg. Baring in mind this money is pretty much my only asset and I live in a rented apartment, I'm planning on using it for grad school/ home/ anything else I might need in the future.

So my mum loves to spend money and I think she's trying to spend mine in a way by advising me to do certain things that would pretty much make my nest egg boil down to nothing.

There seems to be a similar pattern in other members of my family who are disfunctional where they become afraid of money because it signifies independance of someone they want to keep vulnerable so they can abuse.

Has anyone else experienced this?

[gloveman]

     I haven't experienced it with money but I have experienced the need to make a child dependent in other ways. Both my parents had BPD and they almost destroyed any self- confidence I had. Their goal was to make me dependent.

     I found the right woman to marry and 44 years later we are still married. That is what it took for me.

     Don't let your mom make you dependent. Your money is a source of independence and she knows it. Don't let her get you to spend.