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Author Topic: She's now on Facebook  (Read 617 times)
todayistheday
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 571


« on: August 24, 2013, 11:32:03 PM »

Yep, my 74 year old uBPD Mom just got on Facebook today.  First thing she did was friend sister and me.  She'll probably figure it out, she's pretty smart. 

I knew a few weeks ago she was thinking about Facebook, so I made a Facebook friend group that I called "MOM RESTRICTED" and went through every post and picture I ever did and put that group in the excluded list if I didn't want her to see it. So once she friended me, I accepted but immediately put her in that group.

She doesn't want it to post, she wants it because she keeps hearing things about what's going on in the world and the family from my sister or me who "read it on Facebook".

She probably doesn't approve of my profile picture, either, it's kind of silly and she's never liked silly, appropriate or not. It's a picture of me sitting on one of those quarter kiddie rides in front of a drugstore.  But she'll just have to get over not liking that, I'm not going to take her off of it.

I posted a little while ago about how Mom doesn't know me. If she sees the majority of my posts, most of which are OK for her to see, she'll be learning all kinds of things about my interests that she had no prior idea about.


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* I use hBPD rather than uBPD.  My Mom has not been evaluated for BPD, but I have a professional hypothesis from a therapist who I discussed the relationship with. She assigned me the eggshells book.  At the next meeting when I told her how many things in the book were Mom, therapist was certain.
GeekyGirl
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 2816



« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2013, 06:14:53 AM »

Good move setting up your privacy settings.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

My mother doesn't like silliness either, so I can understand why you'd be certain that she won't like your profile picture. If you like it, though, does it matter if your mother doesn't like it? The beautiful thing about FB is that you can really personalize your profile, which is cool.

Now that your mother's on FB, is there anything else you'll do differently?
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todayistheday
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 571


« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2013, 10:28:11 PM »

Good move setting up your privacy settings.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

My mother doesn't like silliness either, so I can understand why you'd be certain that she won't like your profile picture. If you like it, though, does it matter if your mother doesn't like it? The beautiful thing about FB is that you can really personalize your profile, which is cool.

Now that your mother's on FB, is there anything else you'll do differently?

There's probably not much that I will do differently.  I am going to continue to be me.  I may occasionally prohibit the group I put her in from seeing certain posts.  I think that I may end up creating a second group that also has my sister in it and prohibit them both from it.  Using the group concept will make it more flexible than just blocking her id because I can add other ids to it if I need to later and won't have to go back and change old posts and pictures.

I have always changed my profile pic to a photo of me and Dad up for Father's Day.  Never one for Mother's Day.   I will continue to do so.  She'll probably notice and have something to say about it.  But as long as my Dad doesn't get any grief over it, I could care less what she has to say or think about it.

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* I use hBPD rather than uBPD.  My Mom has not been evaluated for BPD, but I have a professional hypothesis from a therapist who I discussed the relationship with. She assigned me the eggshells book.  At the next meeting when I told her how many things in the book were Mom, therapist was certain.
Bella Storm

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Relationship status: married 20 yrs
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« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2013, 10:31:58 PM »

Way to go todayistheday.

I think I might have to put similar restrictions in place for my mom (who is also on facebook). It sounds like you are putting in good boundaries to make your online life easier and drama free. Your profile pic sounds awesome and you should put whatever you want on your facebook- it's your little corner of the web. Smiling (click to insert in post)

Hugs to you.

~ Bella
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