She seems to emerge worse off... This anyone else's experience?

[Parents! Get help here!]

DD was discharged from a local behavior center on Sunday (this place is a crisis stabilization unit).  She has been there twice - first time to get her self harming behaviors and bulemia under control and this last time because she mentioned suicide to another adult.  Both times she has come out with more identity issues, a little defiance at times when dealing with us and the like.  I am wondering if its because of the type of teens and kids who are in this place.  At home she is involved in music lessons, on a traveling softball team, church youth group, in the school band and such.  Most of the kids to whom she is exposed are nice kids.  She has a lot of issues obviously and she has brought us to tears and kept us up at night worrying more times than I can count, but she has never been disrespectful to us other than the brief now and then anger reaction because she cannot do something, etc.  She acts like she is older than her actual age - "You can't invade my privacy, I have rights, comments like that.  I guess I should just say both times when she has been discharged she has come home with an attitude she didn't have when she went in.  Has anyone else had this happen with your kids when they were admitted to a facility for treatment?

[BioAdoptMom3]

DD was discharged from a local behavior center on Sunday (this place is a crisis stabilization unit).  She has been there twice - first time to get her self harming behaviors and bulemia under control and this last time because she mentioned suicide to another adult.  Both times she has come out with more identity issues, a little defiance at times when dealing with us and the like.  I am wondering if its because of the type of teens and kids who are in this place.  At home she is involved in music lessons, on a traveling softball team, church youth group, in the school band and such.  Most of the kids to whom she is exposed are nice kids.  She has a lot of issues obviously and she has brought us to tears and kept us up at night worrying more times than I can count, but she has never been disrespectful to us other than the brief now and then anger reaction because she cannot do something, etc.  She acts like she is older than her actual age - "You can't invade my privacy, I have rights, comments like that.  I guess I should just say both times when she has been discharged she has come home with an attitude she didn't have when she went in.  Has anyone else had this happen with your kids when they were admitted to a facility for treatment?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[PyneappleDays]

My DD when she was diagnosed. She was reeling with trying to deal with the diagnoses, a move to a new province a new school a death of a friend a new step-father. Went through all of what you wrote at the time.  It's been a couple of years now, but I remember the hospital and centers trips.  It's died down considerably but not what I call normal.  For most people it would be considered way dysfunctional.  They seem to wallow in it.

She was the same softball band and a youth group at church.  Fortunately our church program directors knew what was coming and tried to help (they volunteered in shelters all over the globe).  She thought they'd shun her but they were for the most part her support.  I thought the one boy’s mother was going to blast me, to my surprise she told me about her 2 sons.  Go figure.

I can't tell you it's going to get better, I thought I just I'd share a common story.

PyneappleDays

[vivekananda]

While it's good to have our children safe, hospitals are where a lot of bad things can be picked up... . they are necessary and so good when we need them, but maybe there is a price to pay. Of course, teenagers are vulnerable to the influence of their peers and we are often the enemy. It's to know sometimes where the rebellious teenager begins and the BPD ends.

I thought to send you a link to the Australian Clinical Guidelines for the treatment of BPD, it has some excellent information for you there. It doesn't have anything on RTC's which we don't really have the same as in the US and it has nothing on neurofeedback - because there is no meta analysis of that treatment. You can download the book online for free. I highly recommend you have a look at it. It discusses self harm and hospitalisation.

Clinical Practice Guideline for the Management of Borderline Personality Disorder (2012) - Aust]www.nhmrc.gov.au/guidelines/publications/mh25]Clinical Practice Guideline for the Management of Borderline Personality Disorder (2012) - Aust

It is all research based information and is the most up to date there is.

Cheers,

Vivek    

[griz]

Bio: My Dd went to a day unit for two days a few years ago.  She ended up refusing to go back but what she told me went up was hair raising.  We even scheduled a meeting and dh and I went back to discuss with them what goes on.  Shortly after we met someone who had a son who spent a week there and she told us that it was a breeding ground for bad behaviors.  The kids reveled in their war stories and loved to share their tactics with others.  Teenagers, especially ours who are so desperately looking for a place to fit in and feel accepted easily become swayed. 

Yes, these places are a godsend when in crisis but there certainly is down side.  I think viv's  statement "It's to know sometimes where the rebellious teenager begins and the BPD ends" is so on target.  It is a double edge sword when they are diagnosed as teens or younger.  The upside is that we can get them the help they need earlier and they can learn behaviors to change their lives and the downside is that the teenage years are hard enough to navigate, throw this into their lives and it becomes even more difficult. 

It will get there. In little baby steps and over time.  But as long as you are all willing to do the work I think it is possible.

Griz

[crazedncrazymom]

Oh yes!  I remember seeing that with my dd.  She was hospitalized 4 times and everytime we brought her home it would take a couple of weeks to get her settled down into her "normal" bad behavior.  Hospitals are definitely necessary when we need them, but like others have said, there is a price to pay.

[QuietOne]

My 15 y/o  D BPD daughter has been in a short term care (5 - 7 days) facility 4 times in 14 months for various self harm/suicidal reasons.    Our experience is the visits were good for immediate stabilization from some bad situations, but provided limited if any therapeutic value although the facility provided therapy/medication adjustment as part of the treatment.  Negative peer influence was definitely evident after each visit.  We were advised this is not unusual, and out patient therapy is where progress is made.

Unfortunately for us, she found out patient "therapy as usual" unhelpful and stopped participating.  She is currently in a long term DBT facility and we are seeing real progress and more positive peer interactions.  So yes, she came back from the short term care visits with lot's of new thoughts and ideas she picked up from peers during those visits.

[vivekananda]

Hullo, you are a quiet one! Can I welcome you to our board here  it's good to have you on board!

I see that your dd 15 is in a long term DBT facility which sounds promising. One of our members here has had a wonderful result from a residential care program for her then 14 yr old - who is now 16 I believe. She mentions the powerful use of peer group meetings. I will try to find out her long discussion of the placement from start to end and get it posted so you can see. 

Did you start your own post and introduce yourself to us yet? You'd get a warm welcome if you did I reckon 


Vivek    

[vivekananda]

aha, you may have found the link I was referring to, it's on another thread here... .

the link about a dd 14yr time of successful treatment in an RTC is:

Case History on Successful Residential Treatment

happy reading!

Vivek    

[jellibeans]

Bio

This is a great question.  My dd has been hospitalized several times over the past year. The first time she became friends with a girl that cuts. My dd became a cutter. And so it went after every visit. She mirrored the behavior around her. Eating disorders etc. she was in a rtc for two months and I really don't know if it helped her except to realize she has it pretty good at home and she doesn't want to go to another rtc. She has been better. Not prefect but since march she has not cut and has not overdosed. This is probably only a temporary phase but I will take what I can get.  I believe she is better off at home. If she can show effort and make strides to improve by going to therapy then we will continue and keep hopeful and keep trying to get help for us all.

I know rtc has worked for some but I truly believe that if possible it is better to keep them home.