It is all so confusing

[LilMe]

I have been committed to staying, but I am not now.  After another week long drinking binge and rage ending with him hitting me in a restaurant, I left with our two children (4 and 5).  I have a temporary restraining order, support, a plan; but why do I keep second guessing myself?  Why do I love him so?  I will try to get into counseling next week (he has always forbid me in the past), but he is so apologetic and kind - why do I fall for it?  Even my young children never want to go back.  He went to our priest for help and says he will go into counseling (Never would do this before), but says if I get the Full Order of Protection in a week, it is over.  I know I need to be strong and follow through, but it is so hard.  He can be so wonderful.  He came to my work and I felt a physical pull to go to him.  What is wrong with me?  He has a lawyer and money; I do not.  Thanks for letting me rant.

[Clearmind]

Hi Lil

My dear girl – I am so sorry to hear he hit you – that is not on!

We second guess because we become accustomed to having to protect our abusers and have hope that by doing that the abuse cycle will end. I had to redefine my definition of love.

Who are you staying with right now.

How can you protect yourself right now? What steps can you take and what does your plan contain?

xx

[shamrock]

Forget your self

Forget your h

Who else is in the middle of this?

What is confusing, it is black & white

You have ONE responibility! to your children!

Do you have witnesses to him hitting you?

Also it would help him if you gave him some tough love, slap him with truth & consequences, you can be in the driving seat.