Do Adult BPD Chidlren have abandonment/idealization issues with there parents?

[confusedhubby]

I was wondering if adult children have abandonment issues with there parents?

My diagnosed BPD wife told me that when she was young her BPDN mother had abandoned her to pursue other interests / lovers.

Now as an adult she displays the same borderline issues that her mom did. Recently her parents went away on a world wide trip and were gone for 6+ months. My wife told me that she had felt abandoned by them. Looking back on it I am wondering whether she also has abandonment issues with her parents. At times she cannot bear to see them (especially her mother... .sometimes when she hears her mom is going to visit her she even vomits or gets migraines). Now that my wife and I have split up she is very close with her parents again -- it's like she is having a love in! What I was wondering is if she is having an idealization phase with her parents like she is with her new boy friend?

Any inputs by other members would be greatly appreciated.

[DaughterofDD]

 

Well, I don't have BPD (according to my therapist), but I do have fleas (learned behavior from uBPDm).    It's taken years of therapy and lots of self growth to not instinctively choose this type of behavior first when any given situation arises. 

So, I guess my short answer is that I used to have some abandonment issues carried over from (her) UBPD, but I don't think that I do anymore.

Your BPD wife may be having an idealization phase with her parents that fluctuates wildly, but she may also be fully realizing her personality disorder.  Unfortunately, there's probably no way to tell for me or for you to know... .