smear campaign? bipolar/photos

[Johan]

Just wondering, does this make sense?

I have recently heard my ex has smeared my name yet again, also told people im skitzo/bippolar and also mocked about the breakup, and said how can't he just let me go, and that the she had very personal photos of me that could keep me away from her. (private photos)

This is not true, it was myself when we broke up that in fact had many photos of herself.

There is chance she knew that I would hear I'm being talked badly about, but not so much the photos but it has come back.

Why would she even risk it? if i was a bad person i could have long ago, but does she seem to not actually care, she trusted me not to ever do anything with them and i said i would get to destroying them, we had bad breakup but does it make sense? She's paranoid anyway, but has she blocked the memory its her in photos, or what?

If i was a bad person I could have retaliated (obviously i would not) I'm the good guy here anyway, I know if i would have done it, it would devastate her, even telling anyone about her illness, but why do they seem to not care?

[heartandwhole]

Hi Johan,

I'm not sure if she doesn't care, it's just that in her mind she may be "mis-remembering" the facts and projecting that onto you.  Projection is a common behavior with those with BPD disorder, although I don't know about bipolar.  And she may well react very badly if the tables are turned, but that is not on her radar, because her reality is different than yours right now.

So many of us try to apply our reason and emotional logic to our partners' behavior, but it often backfires with a pwPD, because they are not necessarily feeling what we would feel in the same situation.  

I'm sorry that you had to find out about this hurtful behavior.  I know I'd be frustrated at not being able to speak the truth and clear my name.

How are you doing?  

[Johan]

Near a year or so out, not sure the dates. My initial shock of 1st 5months is over but this has started to now have an effect on me, the smear campaign.

How does projection work like that?

I'm finding it hard be the strong on this, I also had emailed a lot of information opening up and feel this is being used against me. She is off prosac near 18months+, unsure and therapy. Our breakup was blamed on me, but it was herself crying alot when i was away and constant texts and extreme jealousy and also other issues.

I just want it all to stop. Whats worse is I know she felt great shame over something and i remind her of that but I really don;t know how to keep this strength up. I have anger and sympathy but its so very difficult hearing fresh things all over again. There is no let up.

[Mutt]

Why would she even risk it? if i was a bad person i could have long ago, but does she seem to not actually care, she trusted me not to ever do anything with them and i said i would get to destroying them, we had bad breakup but does it make sense?

Sounds like splitting. She didn't do it a long time ago because you were split white. Did she break-up with you? She may of split you black and she will devalue/demonize you.