uBPDh getting out of treatment

[Montana]

Well my uBPDh gets out of alcohol treatment today.   I'm not sure about anyone else but my h can act "normal" for others. Even for extended periods of time.  Is that common?  He always says "I know how to play the system!" " I know what they want to hear."  He said he has passed lots of psychological evals because he knows the correct answer.  Does anyone else have that problem.  Sometimes I think he is just an evil genius, others I'm so confused.  He lies and jokes so much I'm not sure when he is lying or telling the truth or joking.  So here is my question since I'm getting sidetracked.  I'm afraid he has held himself in check for so long that I'm going to suffer all the consequences.  Has anyone else dealt with that?  They did keep him drugged up there all the time. Which doesn't make me very happy. Since he has drug problems also.  But maybe that's one thing that helped him. That and he doesn't rage in front of people he doesn't know.  That might make people judge him... He does it all in private. But in front of the kids.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Scarlet Phoenix]

Hi Montana, someone with BPD is usually highly adept at adapting and hence manipulating situations. Many have learned these skills since childhood as ways to survive. Part of that is also lying to adapt to situations, or lying to fit with the story to whatever feeling they are having at the moment. It may not even be concious. And I think they assume that everyone does this, so it's no big deal. It's also quite normal to no act out in front of others but to keep it to people that are close to them. The more high functioning,the less others are aware that something is off.

Will you keep us updated how it goes?

What does the therpists at the alcholol treatment centre say?

[Montana]

That's the funny thing, the therapist there says he is the best patient! We are going to see his normal psychologist tomorrow. Because they changed some of his meds there and put him on new ones. He can keep things together, like at work. Until he makes friends then that's where the problems start.  He was doing great at his job until he started getting close to some.  Then the drama started.  He thinks it's everyone's fault but his.  I'm glad to know that this is common. Our counselor thinks he is OCD, and ADD and possible bipolar.  Our psychologist says he has a mood disorder but can't diagnose him until he has been off alcohol for 3 months.  He has almost every trait of BPD.  But I can't diagnose him.  I'm almost hoping I'm wrong, because man reading about it is my life but it seems like life might never be very pleasant. 

[Scarlet Phoenix]

I'm almost hoping I'm wrong, because man reading about it is my life but it seems like life might never be very pleasant. 

I know 

It's empowering to have knowledge, though, and a direction and a goal going forward. Reading and applying the lessons here on the right can help you with that------------->

And also posting about specific situations in your life to have the input from other members.

[Montana]

We'll it has been almost 9 hours since he has been out.  He kept some rx he was taking there and took them. He is now raging demanding beer! Calling me every name threatening divorce or he will find a new woman. Im so tired of it. He is mad because his kids didn't get all excited and his job is in trouble. We'll hello the drinking is a major problem. In enhances his UBPD.  Makes it so much worse.  You can't talk to him drunk. It's hard enough to have a simple conversation with him sober. Drinking forget it.  I'm not sure I can do this if he can't be sober.  Life  is hard enough with the BPD.  Add drinking and it's out of control.