I am feeling very sad and depressed about my newly recycled gf's issues.
We have recycled many times and seem to have settled in to a more honest and stable r/s. She is on new meds and getting a thorough psych evaluation.
Problem is ... .the psych eval was ordered by her criminal defense attorney. She is in major, major trouble for allegedly doing some things that could send her to prison and get deported (she is a green card holder).
Because I am only told bits and pieces I did not know the gravity of the situation until this week when she was indicted in felony charges (nothing violent). As I checked into the charges and talked with some experts I know how seriously bad this is.
So... .I can't compartmentalize like her and block out my feelings and live in an alternative universe like her... .I am greiving and also feeling foolish and vulnerable. I have to stay 5 steps away from her because I don't want to inadvertantly be dragged into the legal action.
I can't go into any details but the fact that I am still involved with her and still love her defying logic has me in a sudden depression.
Sorry to whine. Looks like she may be getting what she "deserves" and so am I for hanging with her and sticking with her and always letting her back into my life.
Does she deserve?
Everyone with BPD do not deserve the tsnumani in their head. I can't imagine how much it sucks to feel that way all the time. No one, deserves that
