Please advise me not to ..

[drv3006]

I wrote a three page letter telling him everything i think. Ever fiber in my body wants to send it. My logic says what good would it do except give him more ammo. Please i read enough on here to know it don't work. But dammit. Who does he think he is  ugh  it will do no good  i must stay away   why do i care

[Waifed]

You wrote it. Now throw it away. What good could possibly come by sending it?  What hurt could come by sending it?

[Lady31]

I go back to what I would tell myself.

You don't have to say you won't send it (although I think that is the better decision.)  Just tell yourself that you wrote it and got it out, now you are going to make a commitment to yourself to let it all process before you decide to send or not to send.  Commit to at least 2 weeks, a month is better. 

Make the decision to wait to decide.  During that time, note your feelings and how they fluctuate regarding this issue.  Then see where you are and reassess what you want to do.

[Lady31]

Well, let me also say - that if you are able to just let it go and throw it away - definitely do as Waifed suggested.

If you feel you just can't or still struggle really badly with wanting to make contact by sending it - try the approach I mentioned if you can.

[drv3006]

Thank u. He texted me with a bunch of babble again. I am so glad i didn't mail that today.  Nothing upsets me more about this man than when he opens his mouth to dicuss anything. I cannot stand this anymore. All i think about is what kind of person am i to walk away from a sick person. Do you know what my sponsor said. She said. A pretty normal person would walk away from a verbally and emotionally abusive person. Since i quit drinking i can't tolerate being treated like this but for some reason i feel awful walking away. Everyone. I worked hard to try and like me. How could i let him tear away at what i tried so hard to build up. Ugh. Ok. I am gonna stop kicking my own ass now. Thank u all again so much 

[fromheeltoheal]

Another member was thinking 'letter' too, and a lot of us gave some good insight and feedback.

This thread here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=213342.0

[TwoCents]

Maybe as an exercise, try writing the farewell letter you would want to receive from the other person.  I suspect it would very be hard to compose a letter (from them to ourselves) that would be well received by us, provide some closure for them and us, yet still leave us determined to move on.  And if it fails on any of those accounts, what would the purpose of the letter be?  The end result would be more fighting, preventing/delaying closure, or recycling.  Take your pick.

It would be quite unusual to read a post on this board where someone said "I got a letter from the ex and it was good and I feel a lot better."  Not very often.  Usually such happenings are accompanied by lots of hand wringing, trying to dissect what it means, and serious skepticism.