In another post I mentioned something about how some of us nons have such a hard time seeing the possibility that some of these evil things they do are on purpose and calculated. That we sometimes blame some of this on an "illness" because we simply can't believe they KNOW and CAN CONTROL what they are doing. I made the comment that some could be dating sociopaths and not even realize it. A moderator (?) commented asking me if I saw what I was saying (how I could not when I wrote it is beyond me) and to keep it to BPD. I did not respond.
BUT this thread and these types of dangers is EXACTLY WHY I made that comment.
Mary87 - you asked if this is a BPD trait. IMO NO! Well, not ALL the examples here are a BPD trait.
Some of these behaviors are evidence of psychopathic traits or sociopath (word I used in other thread I believe.) Anyway - BPD is obviously not the same thing. VERY important I think to be able to tell the difference to better gauge the DANGER RISK.
Some of these situations sound very dangerous and beyond BPD to me.
I have to agree with this observation. I do believe the moderators are sensitive to straying out of strict BPD descriptions and experiences because under certain conditions the conversation or comments can get, how shall I say?, Out of hand? It is a complicated illness.
Once we go into realms of personality disorders outside of "average" emotions and experiences of the victims (myself) the forum can become volatile and control of the thread is difficult as we attempt to articulate what we have seen beyond the "usual" manifestations of the disorder spectrum. I believe the moderators mean well in attempting to control boundaries and coherent discussion given the differing experiences of the members.
From my studies my over the past year the Personality Disorder spectrum can and does include a whole range of social and personal malfunctions. I cannot in honesty say the person I was involved suffered with Borderline Personality Disorder in the strictest sense, for in truth that is a rare occurrence. I have concluded the person I once knew was afflicted with Histrionic Personality with a heavy overtone of Antisocial traits and habits and morals. Indeed truly dangerous. With the injury of my little dog during the robbery of my home and the fact my elderly mother was alone on the property during this highly criminal act, the situation could have easily escalated to something of horrifyingly dire consequences. I was actually lucky. It could have easily been much much worse. My therapist pointed this out.
For this reason I do not overly discuss the mechanics of what happened then, or much of my interpretations of her malfunction and try to focus on my life now and what we here do have in common. For me this is all about OUR healing. This is about here and now. This is about us. This is about understanding and compassion for ourselves the victims, and them the afflicted to the best of our abilities. We are all in different places searching for the same healing.
Furthermore online resources are not inclusive of the variations of the disorder spectrum, as in I have not located a discussion site for survivors of Histrionic PD or Anti Social disorder per say and therefore have to use what resources that I can find. This site is one of the best going as I have been on others that were completely out of control and not much healing was going on. Lots of venting and lots of ranting and power struggles, and the offerings and selling of "private" services, but very few workable solutions were being formulated for the understanding of and workable conclusions of our dilemma in common. I am of the opinion healing has to be an honest and disciplined guided effort and not a continuous or contentious free for all of ranting and aimless raving. That is my actual observation.
Whatever descriptive "box" the disordered fit in, what ever their injury, the thing I must remember in MY healing is that I am the survivor and they are the sufferer... .regardless of how terrible and horrid their acts. In the end I volunteered to witness the unthinkable, and it changed my life. For the better or the worse? That remains to be seen. It depends on how we conduct ourselves now and I do believe the moderators are sensitive to that. It is unrealistic to think they are going to make the perfect call in each and every situation. After all the are the same as us, just survivors.
