Where are you in detaching? What has worked to help you to move forward?

[findingmyselfagain]

It's been just over three years since our official break-up. I'm very close to "freedom". I'm finding myself more or less just facing the challenges of learning healthy attitudes and boundaries in dating and becoming comfortable with intimacy. I don't spend much time dwelling on the old r/s. I've accepted over time that she just isn't cut out for a relationship with me, and it really never had anything to do with me, personally.

The last few years have been an intense struggle, just fighting to keep my head above water. It's hard to realize where you are when you've never been where you want to go. It was more of a struggle than I realized at the time. I may have pushed myself too hard in the dating department, but I didn't jump on board with anyone too quickly. I've also been dealing with a very stressful job and managing diabetes, so I'm sure that hasn't helped speed the process along. I did the best I could to push myself forward, joining new meetup groups, making friends, and splurging a bit on myself. I learned some must-haves when I'm looking for a romantic partner. I haven't found one yet, but I know when I do that I'll know, and I'll be ready. I'm definitely in a better place emotionally, spiritually, and physically than I was before I met my pwBPD. I have some room to grow. Finding a less stressful job or situation would really help my health. It's hard to feel awesome when the place where you spend most of your waking hours isn't pleasant.

Detachment for me, means I can feel compassion for her without feeling guilty about my supposed "failure"... .and I'm thriving and enjoying life without her. Detachment has been a great lesson for me.

[Surnia]

I like this one:

Detachment for me, means I can feel compassion for her without feeling guilty about my supposed "failure"... .and I'm thriving and enjoying life without her. Detachment has been a great lesson for me.

Thank you for sharing this. 

Perhaps you would like to participate in this topic: How we gained control over our lives.