Don't know what to say to her

[recoverynow]

I have been dating a BPD for over 6 months now and things have really gone over the deep end.  I cannot even have a conversation or interaction with her without her trying to fix me, tell me how to parent my kids and tell me how messed up my life is.  She has been very intrusive with myself and my family and controlling me in what I wear, my household, taking my computer away and even taking away my son's medical equipment- saying she is "helping" trying to protect my belongings, etc.   She has been asking me all these dead end rhetorical questions about my parenting - ":)o you think it is the school's responsibility or the parent responsibility to teach children how to be responsible in the world?"  I know she has an answer and wants to critique me in my parenting.  She has never been a parent herself but thinks she knows everything, because she has met a couple of teenagers and in her children "raised her sister."  Our conversations at this point are so far out of touch with reality and sanity and she keeps wanting to have lunch with me and discuss things further.  I finally got my expensive belongings back from her and am taking the escape of her saying she can't be in a relationship with me because my son is "too abusive."   But when I back off and take this opening to end the relationship, she comes back.  She keeps emailing me, texting and calling and I have no idea what to say.   - except wish she would just go away.

[bouchon226]

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through all this yet I completely understand.  It's not uncommon for conversation with BPDs to feel a little out of the ordinary and to go in circles.  I can try to talk to my husband about something that should be a short conversation, which turns into hours long conversations that end in arguments because he wants to go round and round and round.  It's very strong of you to get your belongings back and take the road back to happiness, just you and your son.  She is coming back when she thinks she lost you because she is codependent and has a fear of abandonment.  I wish it was as easy as a SO BPD to just go away….   THey wouldn't let it be that easy.  It has to be much more dramatic, drawn out and lots of feelings need to be hurt.  That's how they roll.