phone calls , not speaking, silence

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello everyone. ... ive posted on here a few times now.

Just curious as I have started to get phone calls on house phonewhen I answer... .and say hello... .Its just dead silent untill Ihang up the phone. I the .check the number and its witheld... .so its obvious to me its my h but will this increase over time? ? We have been seperated 9 months now... .

Has anyone experience d this themselves, if so could u all tell me your experience s please?

[stronger123]

Hello everyone. ... ive posted on here a few times now.

Just curious as I have started to get phone calls on house phonewhen I answer... .and say hello... .Its just dead silent untill Ihang up the phone. I the .check the number and its witheld... .so its obvious to me its my h but will this increase over time? ? We have been seperated 9 months now... .

Has anyone experience d this themselves, if so could u all tell me your experience s please?

[Surnia]

Hi stronger

Yes, it could be him - so sorry about it. You are not alone, some member here had to go through similar things.

I would not show him you are supposing him. Just a hello and going off.

[stronger123]

Hello thank you fpr your reply.  What did u mean I didnt understand the last part of yout answe u said " I would not ?

[Ironmanrises]

Yes. My exUBPDgf did that to me after she left me the first time. It was right before she directly re engaged me via text. Prior to that text, I had gotten a private/blocked caller late at night that I answered in which I said "hello" multiple times and no answer. She later admitted after I let her back in for round 2, that, that was her. When I asked her why the silence on the phone, she replied "Ironmanfalls, I needed to hear your voice." I swear, everything with her was always a f¥cking need.

[fromheeltoheal]

Yes.  She texted me more often than anything, but when I left her the texting stopped; she got the hint, and that confirmed my thoughts that she liked the distance that texting provided.  Her iPhone was her personal soothe machine that she could carry around all day and have conversations with me and who knows who else, to make herself feel better, and I learned that I could never trust the words, they were meaningless even though I assigned lots of meaning to them, to my peril.

Anyway, she then started calling and left a message once, but after that just calls with no message.  I knew it was her because she called from her phone and I got the ID, but just a call and a hang-up.  Unbelievable really, considering how she treated me and how it ended, but standard-issue borderline I learned.  They stopped after about 6 months, took her a while to take me seriously.

[stronger123]

Yes it doesnt make. Any sense why they BPDs.do tjat ring amd not speak... .what do they get out of it... .I guess he my h wants tk hear my voice still for some reason, even though he plastered all of fb pics of him and a new women (? Which looks like man)! Of them.both together... .but if u ask me he dont look thatvjappy even thouhh hes trying to.ortray he is...

Just to wind me up I think... .but it dodnt work as I blocked him fewonths back now as we have been seperated 9 months now. Nur as soon as h found out  through his work colleges that ive got a new bf he txtxs me saying : hi how are ? I heat u have a new bf I just hope hes treating u well amd dont ever forget how I cared for u etc... ."" this was all out of the blue!

[fromheeltoheal]

Yes it doesnt make. Any sense why they BPDs.do tjat ring amd not speak... .what do they get out of it... .I guess he my h wants tk hear my voice still for some reason, even though he plastered all of fb pics of him and a new women (? Which looks like man)! Of them.both together... .but if u ask me he dont look thatvjappy even thouhh hes trying to.ortray he is...

Just to wind me up I think... .but it dodnt work as I blocked him fewonths back now as we have been seperated 9 months now. Nur as soon as h found out  through his work colleges that ive got a new bf he txtxs me saying : hi how are ? I heat u have a new bf I just hope hes treating u well amd dont ever forget how I cared for u etc... ."" this was all out of the blue!

No, probably not.  Someone suffering from the disorder is all about them, they have to be since their life is a living hell.  Things probably aren't going well with the man-woman or for whatever reason he's not having a good day, so he's turning to someone who used to make him feel good, simple as that.  Plus, now that you've got a new bf, that's the next step in abandonment; a borderline always harbors reunion fantasies with their exes, regardless of how impractical that might be, a symptom of that earliest attachment that started the disorder.

[nevertheless]

Hi it is hard to not get caught up in texting back . My ex will text something like he is going to do something to harm himself then I feel bad so I think as a Christian I should be more understanding but then as soon as I text anything back he latches on and here we go again with circle conversation. I get no where . Is it better to be friends or just cut everything off?

[fromheeltoheal]

Hi it is hard to not get caught up in texting back . My ex will text something like he is going to do something to harm himself then I feel bad so I think as a Christian I should be more understanding but then as soon as I text anything back he latches on and here we go again with circle conversation. I get no where . Is it better to be friends or just cut everything off?

I think about it this way: if we were ever 'friends' during the relationship, we wouldn't have broken up.  Think about what a friend is: someone who has your back no matter what, someone who shows you respect and who you trust, someone who gives as much as they take.  My ex failed that test miserably; I don't consider people who treat me the way she did a friend.

[stronger123]

Well we was married for 11years together 13... .I was his first love best friend soul mate etc... .he worshiped the ground I walked on... .but over years his depression got deeper and depper then its supposidly all my fault... .I get verbal abuse worthless useless no good for nothing I hate u etc... .hr said all this if something dodnt go right for him.in that split second.

I knew he was cheating on.me as I knew the signs from the presious episode 8 uears ago but I was young and stupied the whoch only lasted us seperating 6 weeks so he manipulatede and I took.him back... .stupied I know that now.

But that was then, I told him bk then " if u ever cheat on me again I walk I mean it" he promised he wouldnt do it again. But then he never really addmitted it that time but this tome hes addmitted it to me.

He rang me bk in july  he sounded so disorientated,  ive never heard him slund like tjat nefore it it did worry me but I didn't show it via conversion begginging me back... .im his best friend soulate im the only person hes ever loved etc... .I saod to him that he meeds to come and seee face to facr and talk... .as he knows where I live and work but I havnt a clue where hes living its almost like hes vanised in to thin.air...

Talk about clever huh...

Well he thinks he is! So will he return.at some point? When the relationship fails tjats hes in ?  I believe so I my heart.

[Surnia]

Stronger

Hello thank you fpr your reply.  What did u mean I didnt understand the last part of yout answe u said " I would not ?

Gosh, what  a nonsense am I writing? I would not show him you suspect its him was what I want to say.