So tired

I am so tired, attempts to get him to join forums for wider peer support have flopped, he only posted a poem on each and as he got no response he has not engaged since.Things have been consistently better but today when he overslept and our plans to go to a library to get him to do work failed he had a mini flip and tried to disengage from me but it only lasted 30 mins and he contacted me before it built to anything.

He applied for a summer internship yesterday which I am happy about but it was at the expense of him meeting with the only other friend he is truly open with a friendship he has been toying with letting slide.

So basically today even though the library plan was derailed he has gone to collect a ticket from someone at the ends of the earth so that he can go to watch Arsenal (his football team) and I am frustrated. He has explained to me how important football is to him, from when he gets ready to when he comes home he has no worries and his mind is just full of the ease of football. However getting him to start work is a chore and he now only has 7 days to do two lengthy essays (possible they just wont be high standard) and I never wanted it to be a stressful forced thing because if he doesn't get the work done another spiral will begin.

I don't know if the mood stabilisers have kicked in hence the lift in behaviour but I feel I need to know more is being done to help, i need to know he is on the waiting list for DBT/CBT or something or have his next batch of meds secured cos they will run out soon.

I am meant to see him for a fun evening tomorrow night. Luckily his Christmas and New Years has been good with only one day of full depression mode which he pulled himself out of but he does need to get some work done and it frustrates me what he will prioritise sometimes.

Long/confused rant I'm sorry



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