I'm finding it much harder to break the patterns laid down in early childhood than I thought it would be.
They are hard, yes. I have my own that I repeated for decades. But I think learning about them, making them conscious, is a good step. We can learn to notice not only when they start, but the context
just before they start, the triggers, and make a change in our actions so that they are nipped in the bud (to lead into the fruitful blackberry analogy, which I'd like to get to ).
And also I think learning about them can allow us to see the whole multi-level plan of our inner connections -- what we're trying to get by our pattern, and how it's actually counter-productive and not getting us what we want at all. And sometimes when we've learned enough a
goes on in us and we just don't do it anymore. At least that's happened for me a couple of times. Not
always, I admit. Some of them are pretty stubborn. So... .
Someone told me they are like blackberry bushes- no matter how many times you cut them down they come back bigger and badder than before. I'm finding that to be true.
Yes, but even with blackberries there are options. (I live where there are lots of big healthy ones, always expanding, so I've had some experience with this.) Cutting them back and then planting a nice tight hedge works. They'll shoot out a runner every once in a while through the hedge to see if I'm still there, and I just cut it off.
And of course it's possible to really do the job -- burn the roots. That'll show the f--kers.
But before that extreme measure, you can also try learning to like the berries. Really great berries. I have two quarts in the freezer from last August that I'm still enjoying.
Of course, you can't get too close without protection (like, good boundaries), but if you're suited up well you can take what you need and escape.
OK, I apologize if I've gone over the top with the analogy a bit. Cabin fever probably.
PP
