Weird delusions/self image

[carmencita]

I have a youngr brother who I feel has many BPD traits, sort of exploring right now if he has it... .

Just wondered what anyone thinks of this; he is severely obese (over 400lbs) because he massively overeats. However he is in deep denial about this, like he just won't see it at all, and sees himself as having an average body, sometimes even a really ideal body that everyone thinks is really sexy and attractive. He gets really upset if anyone tries to suggest otherwise. It is just really odd, it's totally delusional. He has a number of health problems, nothing serious, just what you'd expect at that size.But he is also kind of a hyperchondriac and loves doctors and hospitals and things. He talks a lot about his 'ailments' and things the doctors have alledgedly said to him, always using quite formal medical language (he likes to equip himself with a medical knowledge and ways of speaking, part of his hypochondria thing, I think), but will never have it suggested any link to his weight. He even has said 'the doctor told me I need to increase my intake'. Thereis no way this ever happened. Do you think this is a BPD thing? Do you think he really beleives this himself or is purposely lying? Confusing. Any help appreciated.

I'am not sure what I see for the future; he is only 21 and the youngest of 7. For many years histemper tantrums and issues were accepted as youngest child spoilt kid behaviour. Our mother sees him as a young child and makes lots of allowances for him- it is us siblings and our dad he seem to bear the brunt of it.He just seems to live at such extremes, everything is a drama to him, going from crisis to crsis (emotionally... . it doesn't take much to happen to trigger this). He needs alot from me, time and attention wise and reacts very strongly if I don't give it immediately (one time he sat outside my house, literally on the ground, and didn't move for over an hour until my husband removed him physically), accusing me of hating him, wanting him dead etc.I don't think I am at the point of not wanting to see himbut I find it hard to cope with. Just wanting some advice generally I suppose. As much as he loves the 'patient' role, I don't think he'd agree to see someone about mental health, so not sure what to do.

Carmen

[Botswana Agate]

Certainly no expert here, but I don't think this sounds like BPD to me.  A co-morbid symptom, maybe?  I bet he's never seen a psychologist, so it's probably hard to tell.  I would think people who eat that much are eating to avoid a fear or fill an emptiness.   

[Marcia]

Well, also don't want to diagnose, but I do have a couple of thoughts. The denial of reality, calling black white, creating distracting drama, the self pity and the fibbing (which very we'll be not knowing what truth even is) seem like BPD traits to me.

Which probably means that it is going to be extra hard for him to get on top of his problems. A lot of people on this board talk about the SET method of communication when dealing with people with BPD... . might be good to review that article.

Sorry, but I think you are going to have to establish some firm boundaries with this man. Otherwise, it may be a long, long, dramatic road for all of you.

Good luck, Carmen!

[Sitara]

Why is getting a diagnosis so important to you?

The only person you can control and change is yourself and how you react to situations.  You can't force him to seek therapy, and even if you did, there's no way you could force him to take it seriously.  Change only happens when that change is wanted.  Instead try focusing on what you can do to make yourself happy and healthy. 

Take care Carmen, it's never easy watching a loved one suffering.