I Don't Have To

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

 

Have been posting on this board since I discovered this disorder that my SO has.

I'm healing, I'm sleeping, I'm relaxed finally.  Not having to lie anymore to my family and friends.

No more do I have to defend myself on sensitive topics.  I don't have to feel under pressure for not wanting to do something I'm not comfortable with.

I don't have to put up with his emotional melt downs at home or in public.

No longer do I have to watch him spend his retirement on "toys" so that he has something to show his friends to fit and make him look like he's well off.

Did anyone watch/go through the "spending sprees for immediate gratification only to watch them go into a depression over what they had done?" with their BPD person.

He couldn't understand why I would get upset over his spending of his retirement. He literally has nothing now.  I tried to help him budget, save money for a house (he has two kids and they sleep on his couch in a one bdrm condo)but was always made to feel that all I was concerned about is money.

He wanted me to sell my home because of my equity.  "It'll be good for us."

I no longer have to listen to the web of lies weaved with his amazing charismatic, smooth, manipulative and controlling personality.

I don't have to watch him play the role of the martyr only to have him twist everything  into "My FAULT" 

I'm done.

I woke up awhile ago and realized "I don't have to do anything I don't want too."

Thank you for my being able to post, rant rave, gather information.

I'll continue to read the lessons you provide to facilitate my healing.

Cheers and remember "YOU don't HAVE to!" 

[Onmyown]

 

Have been posting on this board since I discovered this disorder that my SO has.

I'm healing, I'm sleeping, I'm relaxed finally.  Not having to lie anymore to my family and friends.

No more do I have to defend myself on sensitive topics.  I don't have to feel under pressure for not wanting to do something I'm not comfortable with.

I don't have to put up with his emotional melt downs at home or in public.

No longer do I have to watch him spend his retirement on "toys" so that he has something to show his friends to fit and make him look like he's well off.

Did anyone watch/go through the "spending sprees for immediate gratification only to watch them go into a depression over what they had done?" with their BPD person.

He couldn't understand why I would get upset over his spending of his retirement. He literally has nothing now.  I tried to help him budget, save money for a house (he has two kids and they sleep on his couch in a one bdrm condo)but was always made to feel that all I was concerned about is money.

He wanted me to sell my home because of my equity.  "It'll be good for us."

I no longer have to listen to the web of lies weaved with his amazing charismatic, smooth, manipulative and controlling personality.

I don't have to watch him play the role of the martyr only to have him twist everything  into "My FAULT" 

I'm done.

I woke up awhile ago and realized "I don't have to do anything I don't want too."

Thank you for my being able to post, rant rave, gather information.

I'll continue to read the lessons you provide to facilitate my healing.

Cheers and remember "YOU don't HAVE to!" 

[drxap]

I had issues with a spending spree BPDso. I was still in school and somehow we shared money, so things were tight. We had to just worry about paying rent and getting food basics. She would always want to buy new clothes, go out for fine dining, buy expensive alcohol.

When I would explain that we couldn't spend money like that because we were always struggling for scraps by the end of the month, she would go off on me about making her feel worthless/ trying to control her.

There is no logical reasoning with them, they have a need and they fulfill it however they can.